Lumber Jocks

By:
In-House Review - Oct 23 2008

There's not a chopped tree to be found in this outdoorsy Pacific Sun romp, but the macho woodsy backdrop is ample justification for such a brawny Paul Bunyon-esque title. Two foursomes and two more threesomes offer substantial pole-swallowing, hole-boring action, performed on and by a buff and bulging lineup of thirteen chiseled Euro hunks. Most of these jocks are smooth as a sheared nutsack, but there's enough natural body fuzz on a few of the others to guarantee a stiff crotch for everybody. Not counting the trees that lend shade to these fabulously fit forest fuckers, there's plenty of hard wood on display here. The poorly translated subtitling is an unintentional hoot: such awkward and oft-repeated phrases as "I'm making your mouth sucked!" and "Suck hard my dick!" are comically baffling. The incomprehensible (and head-scratching) howler "Enjoy the way of my dick" is my absolute favorite. Beyond the translation folly, production values are excellent. The camera doesn't roam too randomly, the cutting is crisp and the photography is lustrous. Both of the threesome sequences go on way past dusk, and the nighttime images are as lush as the sun-drenched shots. The fucking is strictly "vanilla" style, but some fingering and double-sucking bits up the friskiness factor considerably. And, naturally, the guys are tongue-waggingly sexiful, and they look even yummier glazed with each other's stickiness. You should venture deep into this enchanted forest, where the Euro lumberjack boys swing mighty plump tools and the phrase "Timber!" no doubt translates to "Suck hard my dick!" -Beef Stroganoff