Wild Oats

By: Keeneye Reeves
In-House Review - Feb 10 2010

Definitely taking a page from Titan Media's outdoor epics, this gorgeous yet surprisingly uninvolving flick falls into the "bit of a disappoint" category for me. I'm a huge fan of director Steven Scarborough and the Hot House label (1996's The Road Home is a classic), and I was happy to find out that Raging Stallion's Chris Ward had signed on to do a flick for the label. So, what went wrong? First off, it becomes apparent after only a few minutes that Ward spent a great deal of time filming the sex (some of which is amazing), and then edited the fucker to bits! Case in point: the opening scene with the two Marcos - Marco and Marco Tibor. Covermodel Tibor (I'll call him Marco T.) is chopping wood. The dude caught my eye immediately: he's absolutely beautiful, built, smooth, and chiseled. Enter the other Marco (I'll call him T2), a slightly-older guy with a more rough-hewn appearance. After a quick flirting, the two are inexplicably indoors on a sofa - fucking! Marco T.'s non-stop moan/grunt quickly became tedious; I coulda sworn it was dubbed! The cumshots are negligible, too. The next scene should have been hot, and ended up annoying, too. Mark Evrett (looking terrific) ends up in a tree (!) with Dean Maxwell. Joined by Buck for a three-way, the scene quickly loses steam. There's no dialogue or foreplay, really quick fucking that comes out of nowhere, and smallish cumshots. (I even rewound twice to be certain, but Evrett doesn't even cum!) Next up is a beautifully-shot, yet once again rather empty session between Lance Gear (who voices the flick's first dialogue, some 30-minutes in) and Buck again. Shot in the moonlight in an outdoor jacuzzi, the only sound one hears are Lance's groans and grunts, and the sound of crickets. Shoulda been hot, it unfortunately wasn't. Sure, Lance is a sexpig and looks great, but the pacing once again sabotages the scene. After much oral doodling, a quick edit shows Lance suddenly getting slammed from behind by Buck. Huh??? Also incredibly annoying was the sound level. Keep the remote handy, cuz just as Lance is getting Geared by Buck, Lance lets out a yell that nearly shattered my Dolby surround speakers. I was worried my neighbors were thinking I was executing someone in my apartment. If Ward thought that having the microphone so near to these two was smart, he was wrong. It fucking pissed me off! The fourway finale with Eli Horst (Woof!), Steve Hurley, Lance and Buck on a pick-up truck was the flick's hottest scene, but again, ultimately disappointed. First off, Horst disappears for most of the scene, only to reappear at the end for a quick four minutes worth of admittedly hot dildo play (he Lance to orally take an enormous dildo - totally hot). Lance does have his way of making truly obscene mad-dog gobbling and gagging sounds while on Hurley's prick, and he's an onscreen natural. It just didn't ring true as a whole, and the scene kinda peters out. I really wanted to love this, but the lame editing and seemingly sex just kinda killed it for me. On the plus side are J.D. Slater's soundtrack-worthy score (never during the sex, only during hot interludes) and the admittedly stunning videography. And of course Marco Tibor for just being alive. Here's hoping he's a little more animated next time. An adequate albeit beautiful-looking effort that shows off director Ward's potential. Hopefully with his next effort he'll spend more time on the editing and pacing, and less on the aesthetics.