Jumpin' Jacks

By:
In-House Review - Jun 15 2004

I have a confession to make. After seeing exclusive star Baxter in the Dr.'s Orders series I fell in love with him and physically begged to review his other Plain Wrapped titles. For those who don't know, this company normally specializes in sexual extremes - usually fisting - and after reviewing half a dozen of their titles I'm still taken aback by their professional high budget quality, sound and cinematography. The guys are always gorgeous, too. Especially Mark Baxter. We start with an ultra-cheap but very effective credits sequence consisting of a Tonka Truck rolling past the camera with a bunch of sex toys in the back. It totally works though! And Plain Wrapped always has a great sense of humor - the truck falls over! Goddam, Bob the Builder was never this filthy. Dissolve straight to harnessed Master Kyler (who looks like he couldn't punch-fuck his way out of a paper bag) ordering Michaels, Sylvano and Baxter onto numbered podiums similar to the gold/silver/bronze ones you get at the Olympics. Except each podium has a huge black dildo sitting on top. Guess what happens next! Kyler (complete with Otto Preminger-style riding crop) demands his three slaves "mount their boxes"; their boxes sure do get mounted, as the dildos get put to good use. Kyler works his way through the three contestants, all grunting and groaning their way through the scene. And OK, I can see a boom mike but this vid is too good to point out the flaws. The three mount their dildos grabbing onto what can best be described as "clothes hangers suspended from the ceiling". Guess you need the support. Wouldn't want anyone slipping and rupturing something. The three bob up and down quite merrily on as Kyler keeps the crop in close contact with their already-stretchy behinds. Fun bit of verbal too, as he demands the bottoms "show me what you can do" and "jump on it" - they're dildos, not space hoppers for goodness sake! Imagine my sheer joy, however, at seeing Baxter (who I thought was a top) take things up his shute that made me weep and praise the Little Baby Jesus. Sylvano's dildo keeps popping out, leaving us with a great series of close-ups of a puckered ringpiece. He gets special treatment because this is his only scene in the movie, and he's great. But then, he's great in everything: remember the Powerfist trilogy? Not that the others don't get special treatment: Baxter (woof) gets his cheeks roughly massaged as he rides (producing some hot "oh yeahs") and Michaels is just plain dirty dawg. The screen goes negative (rather like what happened when people were exterminated by the Daleks in Doctor Who) and we dissolve to Kyler treating Baxter and Michaels to a french-kissing, nipple sucking, white-glove-wearing fist-fuck session. Next up comes the first scene of a solo sequence that intercuts the other scenes. In it Masterson gets jolly with the usual ascending-in-size sextoys. He's facing a wall full of them; he's got a long weekend ahead of him! I'm dating someone who is a self-confessed P.A.P.B. - Passed Around Pig Bottom; he's an amateur when compared to this video star. Masterson received similar treatment in Fist Dogs and Gut Reaction, if you cast your pervy memories back. I'll never tire of watching this guy. He gets up to at least a two-foot long one before we get another Dr-Who-death-dissolve to negative and we are back with some of our original buddies. Brazilian Reeves feeds Baxter and Michaels a monstrous double-edged dildo hanging from the ceiling. Gorgeous Baxter (who can do no wrong in my eyes) is the first to ride it, but soon Michaels is catching up. All under the watchful eye of hirsute Reeves who could make calling a cab look sexy. Sadly, once they are on-board you've got nothing else to do but watch these beautiful guys ride forward and backwards. For five minutes. Gets a bit dull, and I was still praying that Baxter would at least get Reeve's cock in his mouth. Still, we are back with Masterful Masterson and his incredibly expanding pooter shute, bigger dildos and more filth. Finally we have Kyler fisting Baxter against a ladder (can I have a role in this movie - hell, I'd even have been the ladder if it meant I got to get close to Baxter) before fucking him (would you feel anything?) whilst Reeves, working his thick uncut cock, fingers Michaels before fisting and fucking him in loads of great positions. Baxter is so sexy it's untrue ? tell me he's not computer generated ? and director Scarborough proves once again he's a filthy minded genius. God, I gotta meet these guys. This movie is short and sweet, but size doesn't matter, it's what you do with it that counts. Great verbal too, spoken and sighed! Jumpin' Jacks. Flash! It's a gas, gas, gas. Oh pur-lease. Like you didn't think I was gonna end on such a cheap line? -Froufrou A. Gogo