Review

It has been a few years since Mr. Bjorn has contributed anything brand spankin’ new to the world of porn. (Not that he has been out of the lexicon - in fact, if you are a frequent reader of this site you are apt to run into references to him.)

Most any movie featuring a non-American cast is ripe for comparison to His Majesty, Bjorn. Let’s just say right here and right now that there is absolutely no comparing!

If there can be any complaint about Bjorn flicks it might be that they are very similar to one another. So what? When you have something that is so close… we are talking thisclose, to perfection, why fuck with it? At any rate, rabid Bjorn viewers will surely recognize some of the eighteen (!) faces (and fat uncut cocks) featured in this cast. Bjorn has assembled a group of guys in four exotic locales (Puerto Rico, Jamaica, Cayman Islands, and The Bahamas) using the common denominator that the spots are all islands and that these men have all been put here for our collective pleasures.

As usual the gents are not only perfect physical specimens with giant appendages, they are also all total and complete workhorses. These guys cum and cum and cum and then cum some more; their entire performances look not only passionate and wonderful, but effortless too. The cast seems to have a collective sexual appetite that would put any of us horndogs to shame.

Like most of Bjorn’s other films this one hasn’t much story but is rather a series of lusty loops strung together with breathtaking shots of exotic locales. Most of the vignettes involve several guys and begin with public cruising. Once the men make eye contact on the street they follow one another to an empty room and have a go at it.

It really isn’t necessary to know the breakdown of each scene, as they are all winners. (In fact, it is important to point out that each scene sizzles hotter than the previous one.) Included here are a really hot double penetration, a scorching doorway fuck train (a Bjorn trademark), guys eating up their own loads off of their partners’ hot bods, massive facials, look-ma-no-hands cumshots (yet another of Bjorn’s calling cards!), etc.

But here’s a small play-by-play:

One amazing scene begins with Jimenez, a delicious looking Latin lover finding a playmate (Carrera) on an empty village street. The two retire to a second floor apartment and eagerly kiss and stroke another. It is only after they have their huge uncut cocks out that the stranger notices that they’re being watched by Rivero, a slightly older, more masculine man. Jimenez quickly tells his Daddy that he has brought Carrera home and “warmed him up” for him. The scene, like the others, simply sizzles - the guys go after one another with equal aplomb and verve, pretty much devouring one another. The fucking and sucking seems to go one forever and includes more than a few great cum shots. In fact, these guys eat their own cum too - yum!

Mark Anthony is a fan favorite and his WASPy good looks are accentuated here when paired with two gorgeous dark Lotharios whom he cruises on the streets and comes face-to-face, big balls-to-big balls and cock-to-cock with.

Later on we find Leneau and DeLazarius as gymnasts turning handsprings on a beach - and being watched by Collins, who is quite yummy! Soon Collins imagines kneeling in front of them and pulling down their Speedos to reveal a pair of gorgeous, fat, uncut dicks. After sucking them both and taking their gooey loads on his pretty unshaven face Collins positions them on atop a counter facing a mirror. As he fucks one he fingers the other, all the while the three men’s eyes meet in the mirror. After fucking one for a bit Collins pulls out and enters the other…very sexy stuff to be sure.

Other scenes include a fiery three-way featuring Clemente and Rosselli as bikers complete with spandex. After an accident they get their injuries checked out by a cigar-chomping local (Vasquez) who quickly peels the spandex off of the riders’ chiseled legs. Here Bjorn uses a crazy time-lapse photography trick (remember those films of plants growing when you were in third grade?) to show the bikers’ dicks growing, growing…growing. After some great deep kissing, foot worship, and deep throating the guys perform a spicy fuck train in the apartment archway. The middle guy, with his big cock in his buddy and his other buddy’s bigger cock in his greedy hole, controls the entire fuck session by rocking backward and forward while his friends stand perfectly still and let him do all the work!

The last scene is incredible: Dirk, Armani, and Cseska star as three Navy men complete with white uniform and captain’s hats who happen upon Miklos. They get into really steamy action with Dirk accepting two of the guys’ huge ramrods into his willing hole at the same time. The set-up is really well done with Dirk first receiving one giant cock, then the cock with a finger, then with two and then three fingers. By the time he is being penetrated by both big dicks his chute is wide open and ready to receive… top guys Cseska and Miklos are able to actually fuck Dirk hard, in and out, both at the same time. This is no ordinary lame-ass d.p. where some WeHo dude is stuffed quickly with two cocks and then the scene ends - here there is actual fucking going on! Some hot cum eating wraps the scene up.

While quite lengthy, not a single second is wasted. Each scene is extended, adding a sense of realism to the sex that is often lacking in porn. Just as you think the scene is winding down it just heats right back up again. Talk about getting more bang for your buck!

Anyway you slice it, The Isle of Men is well worth the cost.
In fact, it would be worth twice the price, and you know it!
-Scott Templeton