Review

Are eleven inches of uncut British peen really "too tempting?" I would say they're just tempting enough. Meet our titular StraightBoy, stone-fox Matt Hughes, he of the Sizable Limey Dick and Adorably Endearing Snaggle-Tooth. Everybody wants a piece of this avowed breeder, and who wouldn't? Allegedly he's a hetero in real life, but that doesn't stop him from going balls deep on his lucky mates in front of the cameras. And we're lucky as well, because this twink-centric UK import packs an eyeful and then some.

The video kicks off with a fantastic fourgy, featuring a bunch of skinny hung twinks doing what they do best - sucking, rimming, and fucking with zero abandon. I'm sure you've had the "dicks look bigger on twinks because they're so gatdamned thin" conversation with your respective Carries and Samanthas, but these fellas are swinging big bats by any standard.

The explosive sex doesn't stop with the initial burst of action, though, because StraightBoy keeps steaming up the joint with scene after scene of long, thick uncut bones, lovable mugs, puppy lust, and those hot fucking accents! Sure, the dialogue is delivered somewhat stiffly, and if this was an American flick, the plot-related speaking scenes that keep this train chugging along would surely grow tiresome. But for my money, I'd happily listen to lil' blokes Shane Stone and Lukas Layton recite names out of the phone book. (Provided they were buck-naked and/or furiously shagging whilst doing so.)

As for rising star Matt Hughes, he and his generous endowment do a bang-up job carrying this title, stretching hungry Brit-holes left right and center. The covershot alone packs enough sizzle to launch a trillion cum-splots across coffee tables and keyboards worldwide.

As many wise men have said time and time again, "He's straight like spaghetti... until he gets hot." Director Simon Booth's StraightBoy, a masterpiece of wank-fodder if there ever was one, is bound to bring you to your boiling point, repeatedly. Go ahead and break out the oven mitts for this one. Or, you could be British about it and use a tea cozy.

 -- Lex Lewder

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