Review

When I got the package and opened it up to peruse the instructions, I realized this was more than I had bargained for. “Just add water” my ass! You do add water but you have to make sure it is exactly 98 degrees as indicated by the included thermometer, mixed to the right consistency and do it while running a stopwatch and keeping yourself hard.

Before I tell you what happened, let me tell you how the process began. First, I had to get hard, I told my girl to strip and I started stroking. Once you’re hard you have to cut the tube that comes with the product to the same length as your erect penis. Then you have to put tape around the opening to protect your skin. Now you are supposed to get the 98 degree water and mix it in a mixing bowl with the powder that creates the mold. You should, in theory, have an erection this entire time. Once you mix the powder with the water, you have about 30 seconds to get your dick in the tube to create the mould. So, my girl was responsible for the mixing, I was responsible for the stroking and when she told me I had 30 seconds, well let’s just say, some of the wind blew out of my sail (I guess I don’t operate well under pressure.) When I stood up and tried to stick my cock in the tube, the gel had already hardened. Despite my best efforts I could not force my way in. I am not sure what went wrong but I am pretty certain you need a degree in bio-chemistry to make this happen. We ended up with a mess and no dildo.

 -- Admiral Cockbar