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Skinopsis

Twilight Vamps delivers consistently outstanding sexploitation sex scenes and mucho erotic strip club dancing. Directed by B-movie legend Fred Olen Ray, working under the pseudonym Nicholas Medina, this tale of a couple of hornballs running into some gorgeous vampire strippers delivers the funny along with its many cock-raising thrilles.

Let's face it, no vampire flick has ever delivered so little in the sordid thrills department than Twilight (the Kristen Stewart vampire one, not the mystery from the late '90s where Reese Witherspoon showed her tits). That movie's cancerous effect on the minds of teenage girls and vision of a world where everybody restrains themselves and nobody fucks makes it ripe for a parody. Well, here comes Twilight Vamps to... not spoof Twilight at all. Oh well, maybe just the name-association will somehow dirty up those motherfucking abstinent vampires.

Two dudes hit up a strip club after one of them realizes that his girlfriend is really only interested in leztastic shagging. There they encounter some really fucking hot, naed strippers (Brandin Rackley and Christine Nguyen) who they set out to sexing. Of course, soon enough they realize that these money-sucking strippers are actually blood-sucking vampire vixens and try to destroy them. Fuck that, we woulda just kept on with the sexing. These chicks are brutally hot.

Anyway, the naked flesh is ripe as hell, the strip club dancing is off the hook and the softcore sexing is sure to get you hard as a wooden stake, so Twilight Vamps despite the fact that it didn't rip that bullshit Twilight off the face of the Earth and expunge its memory from cinema history, is still a cock-raising, funny good time.

-- Rick Stanko