Review

Apparently, if you're a dyke in Paris, looking to move in with another dyke, and you're a bit lacking in Euros for a security deposit, then a good bout of violent lesbian sex and tit-displaying will get you that room anyway. We learned this and many other lessons while watching The Final Girl, an experimental narrative from director Todd Verow. Wendy Delorme stars as a slightly butch blonde (who opens the film doing a bizarre booby-showing striptease out of a wedding dress) who moves in with an unnamed roommate (Judy Minx) whose previous tenant either disappeared or jumped off the roof. Due to her sudden disappearance, all of the missing girl's possessions are still in her room including her descriptive and very depressed diary. Naturally, Delorme's character begins reading the missing girl's diary amd becomes somewhat obsessed with her.

Yeah, we know: it sounds very, very French... and it is despite having an American director. But, some of its Frenchness is undoubtedly positive. Impossible, you say. Well, buddy, then you're forgetting how much French people like putting titties in their movies because this one's got tits a plenty. In fact, we had a much better sense of every detail of Delorme's tits by the end of the movie, then what the movie was actually about. But whatever. In addition to her opening credit bizarro striptease, Delorme is quick to take her top off when trying to get Minx to let her the room. Upon Minx's request for the security deposit, Delorme responds by wordlessly taking off her jacket, suddenly pinning down forcefully to the bed, tearing her shirt off (revealing amazingly delicious A-cups) and then turning her over, ripping off her pants and giving her pretty petite derriere a few good hard smacks. Then a healthy bout of hard fingerbanging and choking rough dyke sex proceeds to go down in feverishly erotic fashion. Delorme and Minx mix it up (presumably in lieu of rent) a few more excruciatingly sexy times in the movie. But, Delorme is clearly a horny fox whose tits will not be exposed to just one woman and she lets her puppies out again a few more times.

In addition to a nice extended scene of checking her tits out in the mirror and covering some of her tit zits with cover up, Delorme reveals her hookerness again when a mannish businesslady picks her up off the street, takes her to a fancy hotel and makes her strip naked and beat her coozemeat to orgasm all while the businesslady hungrily watches. How said businesslady restrains herself from groping one of those titties or shoving a fist in her cooter is beyond us, but, then again, we have self-control issues.

On top of all the smoking-hot sexification going down, there's actually some pretty dazzling experimental filmmaking going down. Verow's filming of rushing water and out of car windows displays just how beautiful video can be when used the right way, and the narrative... well we didn't really get it. It was very French, but our lack of comprehension didn't keep us from enjoying the fuck out of The Final Girl one bit. Definitely pick this one up if you're into any of the following: hot naked French girls, rough lesbian sex, young chicks beating off for the visual amusement of old chicks, stunning video images, terrible lesbian folk music, Paris and spanking.

 -- Rick Stanko