Review

First off, they lied to me. The tags on TLARaw said that Bad Luck Betties was all sex and no plot; lies I tell you! The synopsis even gave a hint to a plot, or at least the vague dream of a plot. Anyway, the idea of the film is that out of work and gypped models (pinup style by the way) are protecting their territory from other “Betties”, the sleazy mayor and the plans to build a bypass though their turf. Or that’s at least what I got out of the movie. There was enough of an attempt of a plot that I got caught up in trying to follow it. Don’t attempt this like I did.

We have lots of opening credits introducing the cast, which I actually watched. Mostly because I enjoyed the style they were filmed in. Gave the idea of a classic 50’s or 60’s film and reminded me a little of Sin City; shady, dark and dirty. The gang of Betties discuss their plans to get rid of the mayor and stop the building of the bypass by any means possible (looks like a plot set up to me), We all know this means sex and murder. Sounds bitchin to me. So who they get rid of first? The persistent cop of course! Hellen Heels played by Marie Luv does a pretty good job taking care of him. Even though the chick is hot, the guy isn’t bad looking, the set and costumes look good Marie Luv just doesn’t do it for me. I think it was the excessive slurping on the man’s dick. Unless you’re trying to swallow large amounts of spit or about to hock a loogie, stop. The slurping is annoying, distracting, and unsexy. I did however enjoy the short oral session, dirty talk that stayed within the theme of the movie, awesome expressions (the “O” face), and the roughness of it all. Sex seemed so good for her that he made her eyelashes fall off. All in all a good opener, could have been great if the cop would have taken off his calf-high black socks. Socks during sex, a little pet peeve of mine. Honestly, it takes maybe 15 seconds to take off your socks. At least he gets what’s coming to him.

Is it me, or have girl/girl scenes these days gotten more and more boring? The only lesbo scene in the movie was not only boring, but also confusing. Too much time spent dancing and performing a strip tease and not enough action. Random catfight that of course turns into pussy-play which might have been good if they kept the pace. But the girls, who I couldn’t tell who was who most of the time, slow it all down. I was guessing in attempt to tease, but to me it was just dull. All the scene turns out to be is two girls that look too much alike want to fight each other in bed then accidentally slip some fingers into vaginas. At least I think there was penetration, not sure, I skipped to the next scene.

Probably my second favorite scene (my fave was with Mika Tan, coming up) took place in a dirty bathroom, with a Wolverine look-a-like and Trashy Sally (I think). Wolverine wannabe with horrible muttonchops primps in the mirror, fixing his hair with promenade. I only say this because he ends up using it as lube while he polishes his dick looking at dirty pictures, I assume of the Betties. Long story short, they fight (badly, Jack Benny comes to mind), which gets them hot and end up fuckin. It’s a great scene, filled with good positions, vocalization, cock-slappin (which I do so enjoy), and some fierceness. I can tell they’ve done this before. This scene had potential to be my favorite, if it weren’t for the gross-outs and hilarity. For one, the man has some seriously hairy legs, and she defiantly sucked the promenade off his penis. That’s gotta taste funny. The toilet flushes when they proceed to have sex upon it, how they kept a straight face I don’t know, I would have lost it. The best part of the scene is the end, when she makes him cum into the sink at knifepoint and he cries. Maybe I’m sick and twisted, but I laughed.

Ah Mika Tan, we meet again my love. I love watching this girl, and she’s reached a new high after this scene. I laughed my ass off and yet got off, didn’t know that was possible. To take care of a couple of thugs Napalm Suzy sets up a fake Vietnamese massage parlor (good nods to the upcoming war) and runs a two for one ad. Back massages turn into blowjobs, which turn into rotations from mouth to vag, which finally comes down to my personal favorite; DP. Huzzah for threesomes! Not only was there dirty talk, but there was dirty talk of Mika’s character while in character…if you follow me. Great lines in this scene, my favorite quote being “Charlie got me!”. A nice touch with the subtitles, which sadly went by too fast for me to read. The two dumb asses kept on getting her nationality wrong, causing her to correct them in-between mouthfuls of penis. I bet that was part of the reason she enjoyed shooting them in the head so much.

Finally, we get to the sleazy mayor. A wannabe Bettie is hired to do the job. There is more to this situation that they tried to explain in-between sex scenes, but I’m confused and still getting over the Mika Tan scene. Anyway, The Deb played by the cute Pinky Lee fills in for the mayor’s secretary and plays the boy like a violin. I can’t get over how cute this girl is, I may have a new obsession. I loved her facial expressions and cute little girlish sounds she makes as she is getting rammed into the sofa. (the sofa cliquishly squeaked) And yes ladies and gents, we have mostly anal in this scene. Done might I add, good camera work and again Pinky Lee is so damn cute. Because I love her so much I can get over the fact I’m slightly bored midway through. Even if anal is done well, I just can’t get into it unless I see DP with some sort of phallus shape object. Luckily the scene is quick, guess the mayor is a sort of two-pump-chump. Doesn’t matter, he’s killed in the end anyway, along with a Bettie. Which confuses me, I don’t know which one or why. Damn them for trying to make a plot and getting me to attempt to follow it!

All in the entire movie was good. I came, I saw, and I laughed until I cried. Sweet music, fair camera work, nice costumes, good attempt in acting, hot chicks, hella nice shoes and good locations. I advise you to skip the scenes without sex, it will only confuse you and try to lure you into a story behind the sex. And honestly, are you really interested in why these hot girls are taking off their clothes? No, no you’re not. So just sit back, take off your pants and enjoy.

 -- Miss Awry