Skinopsis

For those of you who come into The Assassin Next Door expecting a sexy hitwoman thriller bursting out the seams with incredible sexy body and all kinds of steamy seduce-to-kill scenes, prepare for disappointment. But, if you're looking for the most depressing action thriller since Schindler's List 2: Schindler's Revenge, then you're in for a real treat.

See, there's zero seduction, only a handful of action scenes and next to no nudity (Kurylenko shows off one titty while going through a traditional Jewish ritual). What we do get is the story of an unexpected friendship between two women who constantly find themselves abused and exploited by the men in their lives. As a depressing drama, The Assassin Next Door works surprisingly well. Viewers not completely put off by the gloomy atmosphere will find strong performances from Kurylenko (playing an unwilling Russian hitwoman trapped in Israel by evil mobsters) and Ninet Tayeb (playing an abused young housewife who lives next door).

But, let's face it: when we see name in the credits, we expect a few things, namely - sex, nudity and violence. The nudity, as mentioned before, barely qualifies. The sex is nonexistent. And the violence, while well executed in the few bursts and satisfactory when we see one really evil scumbag or another get his just dessers, is placed amonhst such a humorless, fun-free atmosphere, that we get very little of that satisfaction that violence in an action thriller is supposed to deliver.

An action movie, in our minds, should never leave viewers depressed and that's the only feeling we had after screening The Assassin Next Door.

-- Rick Stanko