Review

I fucked Sasha Grey yesterday…well, a reasonable facsimile of Sasha…well a reasonable facsimile if you have a great imagination and don’t need a face or torso.

In the world of sex toys there are plenty of fun items that help a guy get off. Usually they are some kind of rubbery sleeve you stick your dick into and then stroke to oblivion. You clean ‘em up, and just store them away as some look like tubes of hair gel or the ubiquitous flashlight. Mom, the wife or your inquisitive girlfriend can be none the wiser. BUT forget all that with the Sasha Grey Deep Penetrating Vibrating Pussy and Ass. I mean this is the Cadillac of sex toys – it’s not a sleeve but a large and heavy re-creation of Sasha’s hot pussy and ass (with her signature dark bush to complete the look) – its realism and sheer size will make it challenging to hide away – you might as well slap it on the bedroom wall (it will hold) and be greeted with it every day. There are worse things in life.

When I opened the box I was greeted with an incredibly strong smell – not the sweet aroma of a young lady’s vagina, but an off-putting chemical smell (but thankfully, it goes away after awhile). I took the gelatinous box out of its box and loved it – I was greeted with a sweetly inviting pussy, a puckered asshole and a slot to put the vibrating bullet. My mini-Sasha is not a stroker – you have to actually fuck her to get off. I inserted the vibrating bullet (needed two batteries), lubed up (a water-based lube sample is enclosed), laid Sasha’s inviting snatch on my bed and then inserted. Truth be told, the inside of mini-Sasha is not as drool-inducing as the real thing or some of the other toys I've checked out but it still felt great – I furiously fucked Sasha’s tight pussy and came way too soon. I had the vibrating bullet on full speed during my fuck – something I’d either lower or turn off the next time – it kind of helped but was also kind of annoying. But my job was far from complete. I mean, there’s still Sasha’s butt. So I watched my favorite parts of Teeny Twats and then decided to check out her tight butthole – sadly this was the only part of Sasha I found disappointing. It felt like a 65-year-old hooker’s ass (not that I'm that familiar with them), I mean it was really loose – if I’m going to fuck the shit out of her I want some resistance or at least some tension. The pig that I am, I still got off but with this toy, I’m going for the pussy from now on.

I did not try slapping Sasha to the wall – the idea of fucking the wall is kind of a turn off for me. But for the adventurous, I am sure there are plenty of other surfaces you can try.

 -- Randy Siempre