Review

I knew I was in trouble when this was given to me. High quality, non-gloss box cover, with art and photography worthy of a “Star Wars” sequel. Even the tape itself felt heavy when I took it out of the box. Putting the film in, when the pure Wagon Train/Gunsmoke/Wild Wild West soundtrack began, my palms started sweating. After hours and hours (and hours) of watching and reviewing porn, was my cynical, sarcastic stupor about to be wiped away . . .

We’re in California in 1875. Bianca Torres (Carmen Luvana, of the sexy Carmen Goes to College series), a beautiful young blonde girl, has inherited her daddy’s cattle ranch after his death. Living in New York, Bianca and her “companion” May Li (Kaylani Lei) take a 3-day carriage journey to her old home, where the handsome man who runs her father’s ranch, Devin (Steven St. Croix), shows her and May Li to their rooms.

Later that evening, two ranch hands, Lee and Shawn, eye the women longingly as the two ladies gaze from the terrace at the beautiful ranch grounds and the hill country beyond. Later, over dinner, Devin brags to Bianca about how successful the ranch has become – only to find that Bianca wants to sell it, which makes him ask her, “Are you sure that’s what your father would want?” before he angrily leaves the room.

Devin, angry, gets drunk and comes upon Annie (Brooke Balentyne of Straight to the A 4 fame), a tough cowgirl who also works on the Torres ranch. Devin tells her about Bianca, and Annie immediately gets her gun (yeah, I know – sorry), wanting to 86 the bitch right there, but Devin tells her he’ll think of another way. They kiss, then play out a love scene on the moonlit porch to some lazy, south-of-the-border music perfect for the scene. Soon Devin is poking the cowgirl doggie-style, the camera lovingly caressing her body as they fuck hot and heavy in several positions, the cowgirl getting it more like a girl cow, with some butt-fucking thrown in to heat up and already white-hot love scene. And yes, you read it right – not “sex scene,” but love scene.

The next morning, in a wooded area of the ranch’s acreage, Lee the ranch hand wakes up with a beautiful dancehall girl by his side. She wants him to go to New York and be with her, but Lee says his place is here. They kiss . . .

Meanwhile, Shawn the ranch hand hooks Bianca up with a horse so she can go visit her parents’ graves. Leaving May Li behind, Bianca rides off and Shawn offers to show May Li the ranch, telling her she sure has a pretty smile . . . Even as it is becoming obvious that Shawn is already falling for May Li – who also kind of fancies Shawn, who is much more of a gentleman than she expected.

Back to the long-haired Lee, he and his dancehall queen make out and undress each other to a romantic western guitar theme, even as Lee’s horse whinnies nearby. Folding the girl up so much you’d think he was practicing for a class in origami, Lee eats her pussy out, fingering her before slipping his train into her tunnel, popping that pussy on a blanket under the hazy morning sun . . .

Lee sees his dancehall beauty off on her horse in time, and later is shaving when Bianca rides by. Going home he spots the young heiress at her parents’ graves, and watches her thoughtfully.

Meanwhile, Devin and Annie learn that some railroad people – the Redman’s – are in town, and they think Bianca is planning to sell Torres Ranch to them. Devin leaves Annie and a male ranch hand, Rex, behind to watch the herd so he can go find Bianca and talk to her. Meeting up with Lee, who has just taken Bianca’s horse from her after her coming home, Lee asks Devin to give Bianca more time – she is her father’s daughter, after all; Lee trusts her to do the right thing.

That evening Annie is cooking dinner over an open campfire for her and Rex. It comes up in conversation that Rex has thought all this time that Annie was Devin’s girl, to which the cowgirl replies that she ain’t nobody’s girl – so Rex makes her his, from the moment his lips wrap around her nipples. Rex is built and thick, and slurps on Annie like an all-day sucker, driving the girl bananas . . . and boy, can she return the favor, working Rex up into a froth, until he has to hit that pussy. The two go for a magic carpet ride near the fire, ending only when Rex pops a big nut all over her frontier beaver.

Bedtime at the ranch finds Bianca and May Li looking at some old photos, Bianca saying she doesn’t know what to do. May Li throws out this fortune cookie: “Destiny is not a matter of chance, it’s a matter of choice,” and Bianca makes her as the two women kiss. What follows, bathed in yellow firelight, is quite possibly, the hottest girl/girl scene ever put onto film, with these two beautiful women going head to head – and muff to muff – trying to please the hell (and the pussy juices) out of each other. No vibes, no toys (sticking true to the fact that such things didn’t exist in 1875), this is just pure all-girl fantasy, juicy and sweet as summer strawberries.

The next day a fancy coach bearing an even fancier couple arrives at the ranch. Sure as shit, J.R.. Redman and his wife Priscilla have come to see the ranch at Bianca’s request – but J.R. already has a ridiculously high offer for the ranch drawn up. Bianca tells him she needs a few days to think about it as Lee overhears the whole thing, a frown on his face. On their way back to the city, the evil J.R. has the coach stop and tells the driver to take a hike for a few minutes. Priscilla tells J.R. how wonderfully evil and smart she thinks he is, and the two get to business in the carriage after J.R. puts the top down. These two wild-west slutpuppies go at it all over that poor buggy, even in the driver’s seat (no wonder they got rid of him), Priscilla’s tight little pussy taking a beating under the hot sun before J.R. sprays jizz all over her pretty little face.

Shawn teaches a smitten May Li to ride next as Bianca confides to Lee that her decision to sell is going to be tougher than at first she thought. Shawn and Mai Li, meanwhile, share their first kiss before walking the horse back to its paddock – where the two begin kissing again, Shawn undressing May Li to more western music (now with an oriental flavor) in the background. The young lovers give each other some delicious oral pleasure before Shawn starts slamming May Li’s pussy as she leans, standing, on a tree. Both are passionate in their lovemaking, May Li’s yelps loud enough to be overhead even over the east-meets-western music, her tight little pussy riding Shawn’s hard cock even as she calls out his name as if falling further in love with him with each thrust. By the end, when Shawn shoots all over her pussy, you’d swear they were 100% in love.

Devin bids his lady friend May goodbye, telling her he’ll probably see her at the party later – and sure enough, that night the Torres Ranch holds an outdoor bash complete with fiddlers and guitarists, dancing, food, warm campfires. One guy even encourages his friend, Roy, to go ahead and recite the poem he’s written to this pretty, petite blonde – Miss Penelope – that he’d written the poem for. Sure enough, she thinks it’s beautiful. Lee, meanwhile, tells Bianca to get her butt down to the ranch party, the monthly Torres Ranch tradition to “let off steam.” Later, Devin and May are not thrilled to see Bianca arrive on Lee’s arm . . . May Li sadly tells Shawn she will be leaving the ranch soon . . . and even Roy’s friend gets dragged onto the outdoor dance floor by a pretty flower of a girl with curly, crinkly hair. Soon everyone is dancing and having fun – and the feel of this being a real party at a real nineteenth-century cattle ranch works as well here on film as in western ever made. Brilliantly done.

But a very drunk Devin brings the party to a screeching halt by verbally chewin

 -- Angel Rodriguez