Review

I'm not gonna sugar-coat it, Jesse Jane's Pirate Booty Stroker may very well be the worst thing I've ever stuck my cock in... and I've fucked dead things (don't tell anyone!). It is the consistency of... shit, I don't even have a metaphor bad enough to explain its consistency. I guess it feels (and looks) like a gummy bear that has been soaking in water for 3 or 4 days, which makes it damn near impossible to stick your cock inside it let alone actually use it to masturbate. Maybe if the package came with some kind of shim or pole that you could use to actually work your wang into this gelatinous goo then it might be worth considering fucking it. After trying for a good five minutes to simply insert my penis into this piece of shit, I finally succeeded - if you could call it that. So, there I am. My penis is inside this thing, now how do I masturbate with it? I tried the obvious, wrapping my hand around the shaft of the thing and trying to slide it up and down my shaft but, of course, that didn't work. Even with the thing full of lube, there is too much friction to get anything more than a rash out of this thing. Then I threw this piece of shit in the trash.

Zero stars. If I could give the Jesse Jane Pirate Booty Stroker negative stars, I would. Seriously, don't buy this. Worse toy I've ever fucked.

And another thing... $29.99 for this piece of shit?

If you want to spend $30 bucks on a masturbator that actually works, definitely buy the Pet Pussy Male Masturbator, it's a much better choice.

 -- Spock BUCKTON