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Review

Oh man, you gotta love that freaky French erotica. Where else are you gonna see a former Disney child star (Pascale Christophe) abducted and raped before getting it on with her four-legged savior (Pluto?) along with another tale of an 18th century teen (Gaëlle Legrand) with an unnatural desire for her pet rabbit (there's a creepy theme developing here) and then Marina Peirro as a muse whose rampant lusts turn the artists and the clergy of Ancient Rome out. Well, 2 for 3 ain't too bad ... If we weren't tallying up the suggested bestiality in the liner notes of a fucking movie!?!! Ick!

Okay, okay we're over it. Fine, if that’s what you chicks are into then by all means get your Mutual of Omaha on. But sooner or later you're going to need a guy with two legs and an opposable thumb (if for nothing else then to open a jar of pickles or something) and when you do - don't expect us to act like you're not a bunny fucker.

Erotic writer/director Walerian Borowczyk is the fella who conjured up this Animal Planet "After Dark" feature, where "women are mysterious and degenerate creatures who hunger for both extremes."

It's funny - aside from that inner-species sex thing (that was definitely a shocker) - we've suspected you women of being degenerates for some time now and thanks to this foreign animal pornographer with the unpronounceable name, our suspicions have been realized. You filthy females with your... your breasts and your vaginas, walking around like you don't spread Jiffy all over yourself for the cat to lap up. Well, Walerian what’s-his-face has news for you, sister! The Jif is up! It's time to put an end to this silly charade and let your sex-freak flag fly high! Go be that slutty, bottom-feeding, dime store strumpet we know you are. Just leave the pets alone and give us some of that! We've earned it! We've been putting up with your crap for like ever. What the hell has Bugs done to deserve that kind of gold star treatment? Just give it already! C'mon! We don't have all freaking day...

Alright, fine. Maybe we do have all day. Maybe we've had at least a few months (and counting). We know it may seem unthinkable, but we're not quite doing Wilt “The Stilt” numbers in the dating game. But, that could all end right now! If some of you (preferably the more attractive ones) would only get on the Walerian Borowczyk wagon and ride that bitch till the wheels fall off – we’d have a chance at a few seconds (literally, we’re pathetic) of joy. And stay away from our dog - he's been fixed.

 -- Paul James