Buy Bloodsucking Nazi Zombies

Bloodsucking Nazi Zombies

Cheezy Flicks / Year: 1981

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From the liner notes

During World War II, a small German squadron was assigned the task of carrying a shipment of Nazi gold across the African desert. Along the way, the squadron was ambushed by the Allies, and only one American soldier survived who knew the secret. Years later, the American survivor tells his story to a cutthroat German treasure hunter, who promptly murders him. The American survivor's son, upon learning of his father's death, vows to travel to Africa and find the lost gold himself. While the desert is hazardous enough by itself, the dangers lurking around this oasis are more than any of the treasure hunters ever imagined as flesh eating Nazi Zombies stand in their way to an unknown fortune.

3 Reasons To buy this film

Because you have a compulsive need to buy every Jess Franco movie possible.
Because you just can't help it, you need to own a movie called Bloodsucking Nazi Zombies.
Because you really, really hate yourself.

Review

By far, the best thing about Bloodsucking Nazi Zombies is its title. Other than that, there's not a whole lot to recommend. The Cheezy Flicks transfer looks like someone found an old VHS tape, left it out in the sun, rubbed a magnet all over it and then stepped on it, before using it to make the master disc to replicate this version of the title. Seriously, it looks worse than shit. The second best thing is the one titty scene where you can actually see some titties. France Lomay's titties are pretty nice so her gratuitous making out in a tent and showing off your succulent titties scene was definitely the highlight of this flick. The other titty scenes (another featuring Lomay and another featuring a strikingly beautiful Middle Eastern chick) were dark, distant and from the side, so, once the worst transfer ever got its grimy shit juice all over the scene, those tits were pretty much rendered into shapes. We haven't seen every Jess Franco movie by any stretch of the imagination, but we seriously hope that this is the worst movie he ever made, and that this will end up being the worst transfer of his work ever to be released.

The story follows a couple of rival groups of treasure hunters looking for buried Nazi gold in Libya. They, respectively, get their info from a dead soldier who was there for a fatal gunfight during WWII and heard rumors about a bunch of gold. What dead soldier and his friends don't realize is that the big pit of sand where the battle took place turned all of the dead Nazis into Nazi Zombies. Once people come looking for the gold, the Nazi Zombies tunnel out of the ground and have them for lunch. The zombie makeup, while terrible, is probably the third best thing about this movie after the title and France Lomay's boobs.

In case you're wondering, we're not just hating for hater's sake. We like exploitation movies, trash cinema, zombie flicks and Nazisploitation. Hell, we even like them when they're pretty terrible. But, this flick goes waaaay beyond even our limits. We've heard other people describe this as one of the worst movies ever made. We won't go that far, since calling it that will make just a few of you intrigued enough to think its "fun bad" insead of just "bad bad". Trust us, it's just "bad bad".

-- Rick Stanko