Review

Hey folks, it's Meat Ball comin' at ya (and cummin' on ya, if you're lucky). I've been in Mount Laurel, NJ, judging a "Best Toothless prostitute of New Jersey" pageant, and as you can imagine, Meat Ball had to get a whole lot of gum-jobs. It ate up my whole week, just about. Then I ate up some pussy and some hot provo-hoagies, so we're all good!

Anyway, forget all that shit. I gotta tell you about some pornos I was beatin' off to.

There’s one scene in this Best of College Invasion picture where some frat dude wins a contest and is supposed to get a blowjob as a prize from these two babes that I guess can’t make it in regular porn cause they’re too ugly. So, they’re down on their knees, fixing to get the guy’s wang in their mouth, and he keeps backing off, yelling to the crowd, “Yo, I can’t get this shit up!”

What a fuckin’ asshole. Spock and Meat Ball laughed so hard we nearly blew cum out of our noses.

What a mockery of human boners this movie was! I mean, Meat Ball and Spock didn’t go to college, but shit...isn’t college supposed to make you smart? We learned our lessons on the streets, and we made out pretty well doing it. Meat Ball’s fucking rich, and Spock B. scores the best weed in the state on a weekly basis. What’s more, winners like us know that you never turn away from a face-job, especially a fuckin’ free one! So what is a room full of your peers are watchin’? That’s the best fuckin’ way to screw! Good god, I’m getting my balls sucked right now while I type this, and Spock’s watching the whole god damn thing! And beating off to it. And taping it. Fuck, I'm jizzing all over the fuckin' room, and I couldn't give two shits!

Stupid fucking idiots.

After a while of this drunken farce of a porno, Spock got a little bored and said he was gonna go pick up some whores. Looking back, I should’ve joined him, but at the time, I just couldn’t stop watching these boozed-up morons getting their cocks (kind of) sucked, so I stayed in my easy chair and whacked off repeatedly for the next few hours. There are some decent scenes in this flick – the ones where the pros just fuck somebody in front of a room of boozed-up morons. Them shits is hot! The rest of this thing is just fucking laughable, but I gotta admit...Meat Ball found it hard to turn away. Most of these dudes are stupid and ugly. They all got the same stupid fuckin’ baseball hat, and they all have small cocks. There’s no reason on Earth a guy like Meat Ball should enjoy watching this sigma-delta-pi bullshit, but there I was...whackin' it like it's goin' out of style.

I guess the real monster here is underestimating how low your standards can get. I'm gonna give this thing two stars, because it did make me cum a few times, and that's cool, but if this really is the Best of College Invasion...well, I'd sure hate to see the worst.

I'd probably still jerk off to it, though.

 -- MEAT BALL