Review

I wasn't sure what to think of this blue vagina at first. It seemed squishy and stretchy - that was enough to get my curiosity going. After putting on a mix CD and grabbing my favorite lube, we got to business.

After just the first use, the ups and downs were clear. First of all, the beads are a nice touch - they provide a fair amount of stimulation you don't find elsewhere but during normal use the beads become mashed up and displaced - some of them can even be squeezed out the back, which I discovered while cleaning (we'll get to that later).

It has a convenient "exit" hole for whatever doesn't fit. Open ended is good stuff. Yet, another thing I don't like about it is that you have to use lots of lube, which makes it difficult for a quickie. A condom alone won't do (it breaks), and bareback is way too tight and painful (it doesn't feel consensual). Maybe you're into that sort of thing. Yes, I know all masturbators need lube but I thought maybe this once... anyway, it's also a whole different kind of jerk. Because of the way the toy is made you can't play with yourself like you normally do; it's more like a couple good stokes as you push it down to prevent it from slipping off and you're done. If I wanted to bust a nut inside something that requires such maintenance I'd just get a girlfriend.

The good news is it cleans with soap and water - not too difficult. The bad news is soap and water can get into those crevices that the beads can slip out of. Also, where do you put it to dry? Hand drying is out of the question since this material picks up dust and hair like magic. It might make a good lint roller. But remember that toy you had as a kid that you didn't want to play with anymore because it got dirty so easily? Same deal. I found it best to use paper towels to pat dry, then leave it out for the rest to air dry, then put it in a plastic baggie. Better yet, add some corn starch into the plastic baggie and shake well to make it feel more skin like to the touch.

All that being said, the toy has its moments. The material is super stretchy. And just like in life, the bigger you are the tighter it is. It's a value for the money and the mold on the front is realistic. Unlike a girlfriend, it takes a beating and keeps its shape. The box says it best: this is a novelty toy. But for the price, why not get two?

 -- Deep Dish Dan