Review

This group of young ‘uns from Larry Flynt and Hustler Video starts with an 18-year-old from Arkansas’s video debut (Victoria) in the first story, “Porn Virgin”. Pretty, with smallish tits and a petite body, she’s requested a threesome scene with another girl and a guy (Domino and Nick). We get a little boring behind-the-scenes intro as the director sets the scene (set in a barn) before Domino gets to lapping on Victoria as Nick watches. Domino really gets into diving on that porn-virgin muff, Nick diving in for Vic to suck him off, and this might be Victoria’s first time on camera but it’s definitely not her first time sucking cock! Domino gets the brunt of Nick’s manly pounding at first, but he saves some for Victoria, too, pounding the porn virgin as Domino rides her face, calling her “that little whore from Arkansas.” Victoria gets pounded so hard, her buttcheeks jiggle, but soon Domino gets back in the saddle herself, showing how a pro does it for real.

Katsumi is hitchhiking in Virginia in “L’Auto Stop,” finds a ride but the guy wants to dork her so she tells him to get lost. Stranded, 18, and horny as hell (naturally), this Asian girl with a French accent next gets a ride from a muscle-bound stud (Lee) in a yellow pickup who “has a shack” down the road where both of them can “get a drink and wash up” (uhhhh . . . yeah). Eyeing her like she’s an ice cream cone on a 100-degree day, Lee brings Katsumi water, which she naturally spills all over herself, then has to (of course) remove her clothing so they can dry in the sun. But just when you’re about to yell, “Oh, brother!” this actually turns into a pretty decent sex scene, with Lee getting all into getting her pussy eaten, then banged, in multiple positions (and orgasms, it seems) on a mattress draped over a bale of hay. Squealing like a smoke alarm at times, Katsumi’s little pussy gets a stretching before her mouth opens wide for a big load of jizz.

Two days after her 18th birthday, a young and pretty red-haired girl (Nicole) gets gutsy and approaches an artist (Lee – but a different Lee from earlier) she’s seen working in her neighborhood in “Willing Welder”. The guy’s really a glorified welder, turning metal into art, and Nicole wants him to turn her into art, too, but fucking her pussy. Pretty, young, with small but firm breasts, Nicole blatantly propositions the artist, who has long hair thinning on top, a moustache and beard, a chunky body, and would never in real life be hit on by a young girl like this. But, not being a complete idiot, after a little foreplay Lee’s cock is violating that naturally-red-haired pussy with some in-and-out style, incredibly boring fucking, as Lee sweats and sweats and sweats until he looks like a fresh-out-of-water porpoise with bad hair.

Madison, 18, is a “Scooter Schoolgirl” who learned at an early age that she could treat a man like total shit and he’d still come back for more. Her scooter craps out on her on day right in front of her boyfriend’s loft apartment, and she bitches at him about not buying her a new one. Her boyfriend (Skip) is balding, slightly overweight, and probably a good 15+ years older than she is, but Madison is cool with that – his dick is big and that’s all she cares about. After giving him shit, she demands he give her dick, and whimpers like a baby-doll in need of a diaper change as his lips and fingers go to work on her juicy, bearded pussy. When finally hard, Skip’s johnnie is pretty huge, and barely seems to fit Madison’s young snatch as he plows her fields in several positions on an old wooden table. The girl’s whimpering/gasping/mewling are what make the scene go, as she seems to really be feeling that big baloney stuffing her muff.

Bianca next gets irritated that her parents have a friend (Steven St. Croix) over to visit, and even more ticked off that she has to be the one to wait on him hand and foot after he takes over her bedroom! Bianca asks him, however, if he remembers her as a kid, letting him know she’s 18 now. This “Tasty Teatime” begins when Steven falls asleep and Bianca has a peek under the bedcovers at what this man is made of. What she see obviously gets her juices flowing, ‘cause she strips and crawls her luscious body into bed with Steven, groping him as he sleeps, her pretty face aglow. Steven wakes up – all of Steven wakes up – and the two kiss like lovers, stroking each other. By far the hottest scene in the film, Bianca suckles on Steven’s dick as he fondles her pussy, then has to fuck her, boinking the crap out of the girl as she grunts like a marine at boot camp. Each of these two seems really into each other (always a major plus in sex films), Bianca acting like she’s being turned inside out by Steve’s prick, sounding like something from an Omen movie as they fuck in about 762 different positions before Steven shoots his big-ass load all over her face and body . . . and the bedclothes, and the floor, and whew this dude was excited!

Barely Legal 39 is 88 minutes long, the last 20 of which are pure sexual dynamite. The rest is sort of lacking, the same old thing going, though Katsumi is okay and Victoria’s porn premiers is . . . aiight. Steven and Bianca generate bionic heat, no fooling, but the others seem sort of barely warm-to-the-touch by comparison.

 -- Angel Rodriguez