You know how when the conversation turns to movies, certain annoying friends insist that they could make a better film than whatever lame indie is under discussion? Dude seriously, just get me a camera and I will kick some major ass. I have had this awesome idea for a while now and I'm gonna start my own effin' screenplay tomorrow-- hell, why wait?! I'm gonna start it RIGHT NOW, on this cocktail napkin! FADE IN....!
Okay, this is the movie that annoying friend somehow got made. And somehow reputable, talented actors agreed to be in it. And somehow "Entertainment Weekly" published not one but TWO rave reviews of it. People, I am sensing a major trade-off of sexual favors. I am here to tell you that repeatedly bringing Owen Gleiberman to oral nirvana would be preferable to sitting through this thing again.

It's supposed to be an outrageous satire of late-70's teen comedies, but every one of the targets is funnier and fresher than this interminable wreck. So just rent LITTLE DARLINGS, MEATBALLS or the unintentionally hilarious striped-sweat-sox-n-dolphin shorts slasherama SLEEPAWAY CAMP and enjoy the real thing. Cuz even with Chris Meloni, this is unwatchable. The filmmakers did score on one count , though-- the technical quality of WET HOT is absolutely identical to late 70's feature-length porno.