Skinopsis

Paris plays a real cunt of a college senior who delights in putting her sorority's new pledges through hazing hell, forcing them to do all sorts of messed up shit in this National Lampoon's film that was supposed to be her actual film debut, but the release was delayed. Why? Simply put, this movie needed more T&A! The good folks at National Lampoon in their brilliance went back to the drawing board and added more scenes of skin and sexiness - much to (not so) poor Paris' dismay. Originally praising the movie for it's 'hot' stuff, Miss Hilton did a sudden 180 and dissed the premiere upon learning of the producers' eleventh-hour nudie-booster shot (either that or her fragile psyche was shattered from all that 'learning'). Oh, Paris ...If only night vision was never invented. Then maybe the image of you and your pretty little mouth sucking the first few layers of skin off Solomon's heiress hammer might not be eternally burned into the collective unconscious of the entire freaking world!?!! You can't fool us you billion dollar bone-lipper! We all know how you get down. Now get that little ass to a red carpet pronto before we stop caring. And don't you dare forget the compulsory wardrobe malfunction, or so help us...

-- Paul James