Review

Can you imagine how difficult life as a necrophiliac must be? I mean, you meet a lovely individual, and you’ve been dating for a while. Things are going swell, heating up, walks on the beach and other assorted fuzzy kitten shit. Unfortunately, the dreaded night will eventually come when you must consummate your darling affair, you know, play a little game of hide the sausage. Alas, you won’t be able to do it. You’ll be stuck trying to think of a way to politely ask that they stop breathing. Maybe stop being so damned fleshy and warm, if only for a moment so you can get off. It’s not too much to ask, but noooooooo. People can be so gosh darned uptight.

Such is the dilemma of Lindsay (Mary Wilcox, who most likely was the hands down winner of the “Miss Hot Body Weird Face” competition, 1972). Old Duck-face McGee happily spends her days alternating between sepia toned flashbacks of her father, and stalking out funerals. Lurking in a back pew, she waits for the grieving to clear out, waits for her chance to taste the sweet sting of embalmed flesh. What more could a tweaked out, daddy issue plagued dame ask for?

But things get wishy-washy type quick when, all in one week, she meets a charming older fellow (Lyle Waggoner, of "The Carol Burnett Show" ?!) a man who bears a striking resemblance to her dead papa looking to woo her, and a creepy necrophiliac cult leader looking to recruit her. All at once Duck-Face’s kush little life falls into chaos, and she is forced to confront an age old quandary: Fuck a guy that looks like your daddy or join a cape wearing cult for sexy-time orgies with dead bodies? Tell me you think this will go well and I’ll slap you.

While Love Me Deadly deals with the often shied away from topic of dead body sex, it is less a shocking gore fest, and more a soap opera-esque love story. Yes, a doomed sick fuck tries to marry and live life as a normie, how sad. But don’t fret, there’s at least one scene of embalmment on a still breathing specimen, occasional titty, and an upbeat score to keep you from getting the blues. Add to that loads of makeout sessions with dead bodies, waif prostitute killing for creepy cult rituals, and Lyle Mother Fucking Waggoner (hot damn this man is smooth!) and you‘ve got an obscure, disgusting little treat, for sure.

 -- Flavius Ferrari