Review

Let me preface this review by saying that I've fucked a lot of prostitutes in my life. Most of them more resembled steaming piles of shit than a female human. In other words, I've fucked a lot of steaming piles of shit in my life. Am I proud of this fact? Shit yeah! I'm I saying I'm better than them? Hell no! But I've gotta tell you fuckaz, watching this fucking waste of cum, Jessica Sierra, get fucked is worse than a million ween infections.

Let's examine some of her flaws, shall we?

• Her face looks like the first girl you fingered... and that ain't good.
• Her speaking voice (and singing voice for that matter) are akin to the bowel movement of the universe.
• Her asshole is too clean, dog.
• She doesn't have beef curtains per se but her pussy kind of looks like a camel that's eating rotten apricots.
• She was on "American Idol".
• The dude she fucks actually makes me look attractive.
• She sings... a lot.
• She showers with a cigarette in her hand.
• She was on "American Idol".
• She only sucks this dude off for like 2 minutes before hopping up on his peg and saying "Just make sure you pull out." If that were me, I would fill her snatch up with diseased cum just on principle... within 3 minutes.
• Apparently, she's attempting rehab and I've gotta say that's a bad fucking move. Heed the advice of Spock Buckton, you spoiled little brat: Do as much coke as you possibly can because the only way you're going to be able to live with yourself is by being as high as humanly possible until you finally and justifiably overdose and die.

  JESSICA SIERRA, YOU ARE THE WORST FUCK WE'VE EVER SEEN. ZERO STARS FUCKAZ!

  (Editor's note: In all fairness to Ms. Sierra, Spock Buckton only watched 12 minutes of this DVD before dropping his DVD player on the ground, getting pissed off and going to North Philly to "score some Krell". The rest of the movie may very well be fantastic... especially for you fans of the shit pyramid known as "American Idol". God bless you all.)

   -- Spock BUCKTON