Review

Meat Ball’s back and he’s found stuff for you to fuck. Me and my best buddy Spock were out cruisin’ for whores when we found out that the fuckin’ five-0 rounded up all the best slags in some big crackdown. It’s total fucking bullshit, if you ask us. Sure, the streets are cleaned up for tourists, but if some fella’s high on meth and looking to drop eight hundred on a good greasy fuck, where the fuck’s he supposed to go now? Atlantic City? Fuck that. Every slag in AC has a full set of teeth and that ain’t my fuckin’ style.

Anyway, if you know Meat Ball, you know that come hell or high water, I had to blow my load somehow. So I turned where any reasonable man would turn: to a inanimate object with three "suction chambers".

So, I’ll you tell you what the fuck's what. Meat Ball loves…I mean fucking loves sticking his wang into stuff, and on my list of things that are great to shove your wang into, this little fuckin’ wonder ranks pretty high. It’s soft, it’s stretchy and it’s made for fuckin’…just like Meat Ball himself. I love a kindred spirit, even if it is a piece of plastic with my dick inside it.

Let’s start with the pros, of which there are many. This thing is soft and inviting. It's stretchy enough to let any cock inside it, but still tight enough to really milk the jizz out of it. It welcomes a stiff wang and really caresses the fuck out of it. Like any fuck toy, you gotta lube it up a bit if you don’t want shaft-rash. You can use any of those water-based lubes or you can just do what I do and rub some bacon into your wang for a half hour or so before you start your screwin’ (I also do this whenever I’m getting busy with one of the many prostitutes I frequent, or when I go to the Opera. Puccini really makes me cum, you know?). Anyway, once your cock makes its way inside this thing, then you get your real treat. See, this little fucker is “triple chambered”. I didn’t know what the fuck that meant, but I figured I’d bone the thing anyway, and thank the fucking lord I did. See, these three chambers make it feel like there are two extra pussies inside! You fuck your way into the first opening and suddenly you’re all ”what the fuck…it feels like an extra set of cooze lips”! Then you pop in a little bit further and it fucking happens again! Triple fucking chambered, fuckaz!

Does this thing have a downside? Depends on how you look at it. If you’re the kind of guy who wants to fuck humans and only humans…well, this thing ain’t fooling nobody. It’s totally transparent and in no way resembles any piece of human anatomy. There’s no way anyone could mistake this thing for a twat or a tongue, so if you’re really jonesin’ for a wet, simulated dick-suck, this might not be the best toy for you. But, if you’re like Meat Ball (who’s greatest goal is to own a multi-mouthed dick-sucking robot), and you don’t give a shit about looks, you just close your eyes and pop the fuck in. The other thing that could be considered a flaw is the transparent material. You can totally see your dick pounding in and out of this thing at any time, and some folks might think that’s too gay for ‘em. I say fuck that, because my dick is fucking awe-inspiring, I like looking at it, and I think everybody oughtta feel the same way. But hell, if it bothers you that much, close your fuckin’ eyes, right?

So, on the Meat Ball cum scale, I gotta give this thing a 3.5 out of 4. It’s cheap, it’s tight, it’s soft and it emptied my Meat Sack in record time. I can’t justify the 4 out of 4, because I’m saving that for the dick-slurping cyborg I mentioned earlier. Anyway, do yourself a favor and try this baby out. It’ll cost waaaaaaaay less than a prostitute (even a diseased one), and you get to fuck it over and over and over again. Which I did. In fact, I’m fucking this while I type, which is tough. Now I'm about to cum again, and that means this review is fuckin' over. Later, fuckaz!

 -- MEAT BALL