Review

Wow. Imagine what a good boy I must have been. There I was expecting to have to sit through yet another crap Eastern European "same old same old with foreskins" turgid bag of wank when I discover that All Worlds mislabeled our screener. Instead, this sex-soaked sleaze marathon exploded all over my TV screen. It’s another of my bitch sister Chi Chi’s “Who cares about a story, let’s fuck!” full length whackathons that opens with an earthquake and builds up to a tidal wave. It made my knickers go damp and smell of vinegar for days afterwards.

No doubt hopping mad that her neglected sister got hold of this way before anyone else. But nerr-neer, Cheech: you don’t like it, you can just eat my big hole, monkey-girl.

But it always makes me depressed to see her talents shine so brightly, as I while away the hours between my check-out shifts in my lowly trailer - the taste of despair, cheap hooch and Kools mingling with the bitterness of defeat. How I wished that when she was born our parents disposed of her and raised the placenta instead.

The star of the show is blonde-haired blue-eyed Wolfe, playing the ringleader of a gang of seasoned performers (check out their back catalog!) - a great mix of rough and ready pigs and pretty boys who wouldn’t give Cheech the time of day if they didn’t know she could make them into stars.

Her best films are the ones where she looks at sex the way she looks at food: “Eat it, it’s all good.” I’ll wager she spilled that little pearl to the cast in her pre-shoot pep-talk.

Wolfe Pack starts as layabouts Williams and Correlli knock back tinnies in a backstreet that’s part of Wolfe’s patch. Bruno foolishly challenges them when they take a disrespectful leak, they grab him and force him to suck both their big bad dicks, choking on the meat as he’s facefucked and insulted with some truly filthy potty-talk. Correlli shoves his sweaty ass in Bruno’s face, who is forced to eat it out by Williams, who holds his head so close he’s almost suffocated. They both shoot over Bruno’s face and leave him abandoned.

Bruno tells Wolfe, and he gathers his entire posse to teach those scumbags a lesson. Pissing into a beer can, Wolfe forces Williams to choke on his yellow stream, gurgling it everywhere as he struggles not to swallow it. An eye for an eye next, as both are forced to suck the violated Bruno’s cock, Correlli stupidly asking for more trouble by being way too mouthy. He gets it by being made to lick the piss off William’s dripping chest before the guys begin to get off on the scenario and release their cocks from their tight denims.

Williams is pushed to the floor, a filthy mattress being his only comfort, as he’s facefucked by Bacci and Johnson before all inhibitions are cast off with the remainder of their clothing and eleven dream guys get down and dirty in the back alley.

It’s too much to note all the fascinating combos on show here, but blink and you’ll miss another exchange of mouths on cocks. The cameraman gets right into the thick of things, threatening to become lost in the action, but his troubles make your viewing even more breathtaking.

•You’ll gasp as Bacci sucks the sweat out of hairy Johnson’s hairier armpit!

•You’ll drip as Johnson simultaneously sucks both cocks of the so-alike-they-could-be-twins Capra and Hunter, who deep kiss their shared pleasures!

•You’ll gawp as Correlli is almost drowned in a sea of dong!

•You’ll wonder if Braun really is tweaking as he insanely deepthroats - never blinking once!

•You’ll raise your eyebrows as Williams refuses to kiss a guy, but will gladly swallow dick!

•You’ll also laugh when you seen a piece of background graffiti that reads "celibacy sucks!"

When everyone has orally worked on everyone else, Bruno bends over and takes Marsalla’s eager tool, starting a trend quickly followed by Correlli, whose mandolin is strummed by fierce Hunter, pushing his bottom-boy’s face up Wolfe’s sweaty cornhole.

Across the crowd Capra’s huge inches are swallowed in a competitive race by Wolfe, Braun and Johnson. Each one produces moans of pleasure as his mammoth monster meat gets wetter and wetter with spit.

Lopez straddles the gorgeous Hunter and the guys crowd around them, giving him a taste of each of their loveguns. First to shoot is Capra, whose champagne cork action sends Hunter diving for cover. The remaining milk is shared between Lopez and the villainous Williams, who learns the error of his ways after serving as the communal cum-dump. Peace is restored and the villains repent, becoming the newest additions to Wolfe’s pack of studs. Welcome, brothers!

A non-stop filth-fest-rocket-powered series of guys delivering the kind of on-screen action that keeps LaRue as the unchallenged queen of Pornoland. No doubt the prolific cow has already filmed another seventeen titles since, but this will remain top-banana for a few years to come! Words can’t describe what I’ve just sat through, but I’ll try: If-you-don’t-buy-Wolfe-Pack-you-are-insane. Yep. That works. That works perfectly.

 -- Froufrou A. Gogo