Review

Travel 'round the globe (or at least to Tampa and Key West) with Voyager, as you join a boatload of horny vacationers and porn stars aboard the legendary Pillage and Plunder Cruise. Old salts and landlubbers alike will enjoy this star-studded sextacular. The white-hot epicenter of it all is Caesar, that walking wet dream with the frat boy looks and randy tool.

The aforementioned studpie leads things off in a landlocked lustfest with Mann, a fellow blondie. Caesar’s milky white assmounds part to accept a variety of intruders: Mann’s tongue, a dildo, and Mann’s mini-man. Very dirty.

Next, perennial favorite Rambo fantasizes about giving semi-anonymous beach blowjobs to several men. Rambo gobbles two big ones belonging to Lyons and Wendt, with the latter returning the favor. Underfed curly-top Ambers offers his own sizeable hang-low, which Rambo devours eagerly.

The film then shifts to a Tampa rooftop, where Mathews is orally gratifying his buddy Vendetta. Ox-hung Johnson finds the two in the act, and joins in the fun. Johnson’s big johnson gets spit-shined, before he and Vendetta take turns banging Mathews’ turd cutter.

Key West is the setting for the next romp – a fur-covered bear mating ritual starring chrome-domed Reid and mustachioed Harley. Things get increasingly hairy as the two men swallow each other’s schmeckles. Grizzled Daddy Vizarro briefly joins in the action, before leaving to get his doodle dunked by cock-crazed Radcliffe. Reid then plays Alpha male and batters Harley’s butt ‘till the sun goes down.

Next, cocktail waiter Cox serves his giganto poop pounder to Mattel, who devours it like a hungry hyena. Lots of naughty talk compliments the scene, which features Mattel taking it in the rosette in an assortment of positions. Mattel is a sex-monkey, and he rides that thing like a champ, even achieving the big "O" whilst impaled.

It’s "fags ahoy!" as we sashay aboard the ship to find out what’s been going on in international waters. Two sex scenes carry on simultaneously (and a bit confusingly). One involves Radcliffe and Harley getting busy orally on Vega’s monster meat. The other is between Caesar, Rambo and some mystery man with a giant noodle who both tops and bottoms. Caesar tops Harley, Vega tops Radcliffe, and peeping passengers find themselves with halfies or better.

 -- T.J. Maxxwell