Review

Up Your Alley Part I: Pitchin' In is the private afterparty following on from the infamous Dove Alley Street Fair held every July in San Francisco. Don’t worry that you’ve missed it. Seems that city has an infamous leather street fair every other day. It’s quite a simple, logical idea: get a bunch of pornstars who all enjoy fisting and are actually good at it, shove them in a setting with slings, fuck benches and enough lube to drown Africa, wind up the key and let them all go.

The filmmakers pride themselves that this is real-style hardcore - it isn’t. It’s way better than any of those “let’s rent a hotel room in Manhattan and see what happens” videos. Hell, they even give the participants cameras, giving you not only really cool CUs, but the feeling that it’s your large intestine that Michael Soldier is currently fiddling about with.

We dive straight in and it goes wonderfully downhill from there. There are way too many combinations to go into here - it helps that the majority of the participants are versatile - and I don’t want to ruin any surprises but I especially recommend the following:

The competition to be first on the fisting dancefloor (won by Allen happily playing Kermit to Samson’s Jim Henson); intrepid cameraman Pachman, who never shies from sticking the camera where it shouldn’t be; Pierce and Soldier using dildos on the entire cast and Samson’s trip to Planet Clare as he’s fisted. Best of all is when Green is in the sling armed with a camera - we see him sucked, fucked, punch-fucked and fisted by the cast in CU’s so sharp you’d swear it was 3D.

The sex is total filth but there’s also a lot of love and respect on display. There’s a lot of bonding happening, if you wanted to get all West Coast about it. Overall this is a big one in the eye to those porno-makers who insist that fisting and general pigsex cannot be sexy unless it’s unsafe. You know who you are, fuckers!

You’ll see more latex gloves, fisting, punch-fucking
and rosebudding than you can possibly handle.
But wait filth fans, there’s a sequel!
-Froufrou A. Gogo