Review

Turbo Charge is a four-star kinky classic from Al Parker's Surge Studios. Shot on celluloid and featuring some eye-popping (and crotch-cringing) cock-and-ball torturing, this classic Al Parker title is sure to raise your eyebrows, your temperature, and your stiffening lap rod.

We meet Al - topless, muscular, long locks flowing - strutting down the avenue like a flaming Travolta in Saturday Night Fever (yet looking more like a bearded Gibb). He and the mustachioed driver of a little black Corvette (uncut and horse hung daddy hunk Justin Cade) lock glances and head inside for some instant slurpery and eventual buggery.

A pit stop in the shower allows Al to hose out the underside of Justin’s foreskin. (Nothing like a little feta during a hot and sweaty day to put a damper on a suck job, ya know?)

After much foreskin docking (with both tongue and penis), pec-thwacking, titty-twisting and testicle-torturing, the guys both don rubbers before the oral sex and proceed with a mutual round of latex-gnawing suck jobs. Yes, you read that right: they use condoms for sucking.

Rarely have I witnessed so many “safer sex” practices demonstrated in a single porn. In addition to the latex-flavored blow jobbing, we see Al tear off a sheet of Saran Wrap and use it as a makeshift dental dam for rimming Justin’s shielded annulus. Al also goes poking for Justin’s prostate while wearing a latex glove.

It goes without saying that condoms are indeed used for fucking. In fact, the strictly safe sex angle is pretty much the only thing that dates this title, though an exact year of release is never specified.

But wait! There’s more to come! Al pops up again, this time with his hair cut neat and short. We watch him self-slurp his own cock. ’Nuf said.

Next, we join Al driving around town in a van with his soul brother James Williams (who looks like the love child of Lionel Richie and Jimmy Walker). While Al darts through traffic, James exposes his giant hooded anaconda and gives us a frightfully thorough demonstration of his Swedish Suck Pump Penis Enlarger.

When Al “parks” the van, it’s suddenly nighttime and the suck pump vacuumed onto James’ inflamed meat has miraculously grown a few sizes thicker. Once the pump is removed, the disturbing sight of James’ swollen fatty is nearly enough to make you crave a pussy: the extreme distention makes his thing look like a cross between one of those giant sandworms from Dune and a wrinkly Shar-Pei.

Suck pump enthusiasts might be able to explain what Al does next: he inserts oversized marbles under the blanket of James’ still-swollen foreskin and then attaches a third much-slimmer vac-u-pump onto the head and plunges away. We finish with more of Al’s self-sucking, semen-eating shenanigans. But not while he’s driving the van, good gracious no.

As a curiosity factor for learning some safer sex tricks, and as a how-to on vacuum pumping (on second thought, make that a how-not-to), this one’s a must-have. Parker loyalists are vociferously anxious to ditch their well-chewed videotapes and upgrade to DVD. Put this one at the top of your list. Vroom, vroom! (*Spurt!*)

 -- Beef Stroganoff