Review

The faces are beautiful, the bodies are luscious and live chickens are everywhere. Welcome to Brazil and Pau Brazil Productions.

Featuring some of the hottest ranch hands you’ve ever laid eyes on, Triple X Ranch is a juicy look at what gauchos (or whatever the word is in Portuguese) do in their off time. Animal activists will bristle at the plot, as it involves the drugging of the horses' water supply in order to attract the services of a handsome veterinarian. The horses may be stoned, but the humans are only high on passion.

As you watch, quivering mocha man-staffs find their way into dusky ass-caves. There’s nothing out of the ordinary here, unless you consider drugged horses and sex among squawking chickens to be unusual. There’s tonsil hockey, noodle licking, rectum reaming, rim swabbing and finger frolic (though not in that particular order). There are a total of six scenes, including two threesomes, all featuring some of the hottest men in the Americas.

The main problem with this bout of Brazilian butt-banging is the editing. By trying to pack too much into one film, the scenes end up being too short and too sharply edited. Just when you start to feel that familiar twinge in your schmeckle, the shot shifts and you’re left with a halfie.

 -- T.J. Maxxwell