Review

Up Your Alley Part I (HVP 003)
Oh, Hot Hand Productions. You pervoids. I love you!

This fab video is the private afterparty following on from the infamous Dove Alley Street Fair held every July in San Francisco. Don’t worry that you’ve missed it. Seems that city has an infamous leather street fair every other day. It’s quite a simple, logical idea: get a bunch of pornstars who all enjoy fisting and are actually good at it, shove them in a setting with slings, fuck benches and enough lube to drown Africa, wind up the key and let them all go.

The filmmakers pride themselves that this is real-style hardcore - it isn’t. It’s way better than any of those “let’s rent a hotel room in Manhattan and see what happens” videos. Hell, they even give the participants cameras, giving you not only really cool CUs, but the feeling that it’s your large intestine that Michael Soldier is currently fiddling about with.

We dive straight in and it goes wonderfully downhill from there. There are way too many combinations to go into here - it helps that the majority of the participants are versatile - and I don’t want to ruin any surprises but I especially recommend the following:

The competition to be first on the fisting dancefloor (won by Allen happily playing Kermit to Samson’s Jim Henson); intrepid cameraman Pachman, who never shies from sticking the camera where it shouldn’t be; Pierce and Soldier using dildos on the entire cast and Samson’s trip to Planet Clare as he’s fisted. Best of all is when Green is in the sling armed with a camera - we see him sucked, fucked, punch-fucked and fisted by the cast in CU’s so sharp you’d swear it was 3D.

The sex is total filth but there’s also a lot of love and respect on display. There’s a lot of bonding happening, if you wanted to get all West Coast about it. Overall this is a big one in the eye to those porno-makers who insist that fisting and general pigsex cannot be sexy unless it’s unsafe. You know who you are, fuckers!

You’ll see more latex gloves, fisting, punch-fucking
and rosebudding than you can possibly handle.
But wait filth fans, there’s a sequel!
-Froufrou A. Gogo

Up Your Alley Part II (HVP 004)
More jolly japes and up-to-the-elbow bumfoolery from Hot Hand Productions and director Chris Ward. For the bigger punch-fucking picture and backstory check out the review for Up Your Alley Part I. You’ll find it under “What Katy Did”. Well, this is “What Katy Did Next”, if Katy happens to be a red-bed fistoid pig-freak.

To remind you: don’t try this at home. These surprisingly passionate M.F.’s are professionals and know what they are doing. Don’t get ideas and go running to the kitchen for a tub of Crisco and a rolling pin.

It takes off exactly where the first ended, giving or taking a moment to clean their fingernails, with the additions of uber-sexy Grand and Philips, who I’m assuming were just being fashionably late. Once again we dive straight into the action, this time a little bit more extreme than the first (two hands for the price of one).

Highlights include Sky screaming with pleasure as Green fists him, before they flip and fuck like bunnies; Grand’s advice to fellow fisters on the best way to get all the way up Jammer’s canal; and in an amazing turn of events, Pachman finally surrendering his camera as he fists the crew, all in a line! He skillfully handles an ass with the same grace as the camera, building up to two at a time!

Beautifully shot and lit, perfect sound and performances - you’ll swear you were there. Shame that the gorgeous Philips is only really there as a casual jerk-off voyeur. I want to see his ringpiece stretched next time!

Once again, a wonderfully pro-pig-sex "lets get filthy but keep it safe" done to the highest quality. And unlike most fist vidz, these guys are hot - can you hear me, Germany? Can’t wait till they combine the two titles into one movie, a la The Godfather!
-Froufrou A. Gogo