Review

OK, I'll come clean. I love strokers/masturbators! Yes, I can jerk off with my hand but I get immeasurably better cums when I stick my cock into something jelly-like and tight which fools my dumb dick into thinking it is some guy’s tight hole. That is why my bedroom side table is littered with Fleshjacks, Tengas and Colt masturbators. So it takes a lot for me not to like a stroker toy. But frustratingly, that is the case with The Super Sucker 2.0. The promise was there: a clear, soft jelly-like tube with a seven function bullet on the end to stimulate one’s balls while stroking to a furious finale. But like my last boyfriend, it promised a lot more than it could deliver. First – it was broken. Yes, I opened the box and the hole where you put the bullet was ripped, so it was not possible to keep the bullet in place (and god knows I tried). So its “Made in America” sicker really means it is of flimsy construction but other than the missing bullet, how was the stroker? On the plus side, this is a great jerk off device for guys with large cocks. It can easily handle 8 inches and more. And the ribbed interior actually felt great on my cock. That’s the positive; everything else was kind of “eh”: It is needlessly heavy, if you are not 8 inches the top flops down, reminding you that you are not 8 inches. I mean, it was still better than my dry hands but the clunkiness of its shape, its weight, its length and its non-bullet vibrations all amounted to a try-it-once experience. Now, if you get one and the bullet is intact, it might change your experience a lot – the bullet itself is pretty powerful – I was tempted to simply stick it up my ass for some anal vibrations but remembered the complication of the last time I stuck something up there that did not have a string attached to take it out! Advice? Splurge and buy a better designed masturbator, you dick will thank you.

 -- Randy Siempre