Review

Son of Mykonos
This is the first part in Ikarus Entertainment's The Greek Trilogy, that ends with Sexxxy Gay Paradise via Kostas' Friends. So expect to see lots of manmade hummus, Greek yogurt and taramasalata splattering about on young tanned Spanish bodies.

The first one of these I actually saw was the final, and I loved it. Which worried me because I was afraid of reverse evolution - the originals are always crap when compared to the final (Missing Link versus Boot Black for example), but I need not have worried. This title is amazing!

As usual with Ikarus it starts with the boring travelogue touristy shots (as if to say we’re not in Kansas anymore) of Tavernas, Cats and sunbleached streets. And one of those big chinned birds. The zither music is terrible (for which I subtract half a star; it also ruined The Third Man for me) and oh look, there’s a ferry coming in to port. Quick girls - the sailors are in town!

Luckily as the cast appears (and the music goes up tempo) we see a bunch of hotties and all is forgiven. Shame then that we get another minute of the Travel Channel before we settle down to trouser-rubbing goodness.

Boris Varga rides into town (on moped - bet Peter Fonda is worried) and attracts Csortan’s attentions. You might look butch in those leather trousers, but that mince screams "Mary"…or at least slipped disc. In the hotel foyer (I think) they get a lot friendlier. Csortan jumps straight on to Boris’s greekmeat, slapping it against his rosary, which had the Catholic in me giggling hysterically. Unsurprisingly, Csortan is the lady here, and he loves every minute of the experience. Sadly, Varga has some odd scarring on his backside; maybe he fell on a bonfire as a child.

Mute the music!

Boyish Bela is enjoying a peaceful outdoor shower when happy wanderer Kristian gives in to his voyeuristic tendencies and gets an eyeful. (Hey, if you don’t like it buy a shower curtain.) Pretty soon Kristian invites himself over the wall and the hot duo find better ways to cool off. After passionately kissing Bela shows how to suck cock expertly, with careful attention paid to the balls too. (I wish he gave lessons to my dates.) Surprisingly, the waifish Bela fucks muscular Kristian rotten (didn’t see that one coming!) Bela shoots his load all over K’s chest, and pretty soon lovespud-juice is everywhere.

In a fabulous pool scene Boris and Bela have a frolic, attracting the attention of stunners Gino Ferrara and Giovanni Lucca. This is the hottest underwater scene I’ve seen since Naked Highway - out of the pool and onto the sunloungers with Ferrara on Lucca and Boris on Bela in a group scene so hot it’ll set your smoke detectors off.

In a tavern token Russkie Anatol and Kristian play footsie under the table (I did this once, until I remembered I had a dog grumby on the sole of my shoe) before Kris decides his mouth is an even better object of affection - diving under the table to chow down on a balalaika! This is brave because there’s a party of three on the next table. After they leave things get heavier with waiter Gino. This is an odd scene because the actors keep disappearing for minutes on end to be replaced by what looks like stunt doubles. Can’t complain though!

Finally we have a romantic scene with Bela and Boris having a sunset date. These Euroguys sure are lightweights because one sip of wine and they are all over each other like cheap suits! Bela does most of the work to an appreciative Boris, proving his star quality. A hot end to a great movie!

You’ll have shot your stuff way before these guys get round to shooting theirs. Buy the trilogy - you know you want to!
-Froufrou A. Gogo

Kostas' Friends
'Twas a smart move in picking up this import for distribution. Though not as epic in scope or sexual content as Falcon's Out of Athens films, this (along with the other two parts) is sure to get you longing for grape leaves, baklava, and very nicely hung beautyboys.
-Keeneye Reeves

From the press notes:
"In a superb villa high above the cliffs of a Greek island lives Kostas, a watch dog. He tells the erotic tales of all the many guest who have visited the house. Anton (a Russian) and his young Italian lover Gino - on the island for the first time - soon discover their lustful feelings for each other.

Outside the gardener is watering the plants. It just happens that some water hits Janos who is sunbathing on the terrace. As a punishment he fucks the gardener until they shoot their huge white loads on their suntanned bodies.

On a white terrace high above the deep blue sea Giovanni enjoys the sun. Yet he won't stay alone for a long time. Boris takes his chance and turns Giovanni on. As hot as loaded guns they make love in all possible positions. After an intense fuck they both cum, and the sun is the only witness (apart from Kostas, of course).

Meanwhile Janos is taking a shower inside. He enjoys the soapy water and he treats every inch of his his well-shaped body with hands. The white milky juice rins slowly down the beautiful body of this Adonis.

Together with a local guy Giovanni tries horseback riding along the beach where he is expected by his friend András. The two guys are real horny, and on the way back up to the house they make love in the rocky landscape.

Anton and Janos have become real close during this holiday. Anton seduces Janos with some melon, yet this is only the start to a passionate loveplay. With his quick tongue Janos exposes Anton's huge hole and fills it finally with his hard cock. Exhausted and topped with cream they sink into their arms. But they both know this is not goodbye forever..."

Sexxxy Gay Paradise
Ah, the joys of Europorn. If it works, it’s brilliant. If it doesn’t, it sucks so bad you’d wish Hitler would have bombed the entire continent off the face of the Earth. Luckily, Ikarus is a quality studio capable of producing some wonderful titles (distributed here by YMAC). This one is the third in The Greek Trilogy, and excuse the bad joke but this is no Greek Tragedy. This time the YMAC boys (slim, smooth, slender - got to love those Euroboys!) go through six sexscapades that will get you on the next outbound to Mykonos.

First up we have Lucca and Szabo motorbiking it through the coastal hillside, but scenery is not on their minds as these two jump each other’s bones as soon as the bike stops. A little detour to a rockpool and these two make sure the seawater gets a little bit saltier.

Next up Anatol Borinski and Janos indulge in a bit of wheel barrowing (with a real wheelbarrow) before both cool down with a beer. One sip and the two are all over each other like cheap suits. The lightweights. Anatol may have a name like a painkiller, so I recommend everyone take him twice a day.

The totally fantastic third scene has Lucca exploring the rocks by the shore when he stumbles upon the mysterious lair of the perpetually naked Birdman (Delos) – luckily, his hilarious mask is quickly removed along with Lucca’s clothing. The incredibly sexy Greek Birdman’s must have been happy for the company as he even allows Lucca to stick his winter stash of odd shaped root vegetables up his backside. I guess Eurohermits are less Unabomber-style wackos and more like Horny Monks.

In the fourth vignette Csortan’s morning shave on the sunny balcony looks as if it’s about to be ruined by the bullying antics of hunky Janos who quickly drops the “don’t touch my stuff” routine and decides to shave Csortan’s body. Well, half-shave it - he’s too turned on to finish the job so decides to pound an ass instead.

The fifth scene is a little disappointing as it dives straight into a boat-bound sex scene with Balu receiving a bj from sexy Captain Jan Rick, who I’m hoping has safely moored the boat because no-one is driving! Sadly, Balu is a bit heavy on the Soft Cell Marc Almond look and Rick never takes his shirt off. Maybe he has an embarrassing tattoo; maybe he didn’t want his shoulders to burn.

In the final scene we meet Janos for the last time, the sort of Greek who has the gift of making skinny white boys drop their clothing at the first opportunity. This time the recipient is Anton, who is quickly lured from the site of Super Paradise (a famous gay beach, fact fans) to sample some homemade Greek yogurt.

This film is both beautiful to look at and incredibly arousing, however, a few things could have made this a definite four-starrer. A bit more imagination would have not gone amiss. For example: They could have expanded the Birdman scene into a much more mythical orgy instead of a twosome, and how’s about subverting the usual skinny-boy-passive and muscular-top scenarios we are all so bored of? That mumble aside, I totally recommend this to fans of Ikarus and virgins alike.

If you enjoy chicken in a biscuit and Greek islands, get this title.
You’ll have empty Balearics after each screening.
-Froufrou A. Gogo