Review

Sometimes we all need a little alone time, a moment to have a quality one-to-one with ourselves. In these moments we reach for the tissues, check that the door is locked, and get stuck right in to the porn. Sometimes though, it's good to spoil yourself. Go that extra mile. And so we come to the Tenga Soft Tube Cup - the "ultimate male masturbator." This kind of claim should be shouted from the rooftop at full volume, especially if the Tenga lives up to its promise of the "finest artificial orgasms yet" - which is quite a boast!

At first, it's hard to get over that it's kind of like fucking a shampoo bottle (a handy disguise should anyone find it in your luggage), but with a ribbed hole on the end. Strange a mental image as this may seem, there's no escaping the fact that the Tenga is good. It's not like being inside the real thing, but it's good.

The lotion reservoir (it is self-lubricated) is a little cold upon first penetration. Once you get over the initial surprise, this isn't necessarily a bad thing. As those who have used ice cubes during sex can testify, a little play with temperature can be a good way to explore new sensations. The lotion warms up after a while anyway, and by then you'll be into the rhythm of things.

The Tenga Soft Tube Cup puts you firmly in control: You can grip it less or more to make it a tighter ride, and control the intensity of the stroking; the ribbed area around the entrance hole has nubs that face both ways, making it pleasurable on the way backward as well as on the way forward; and the air hole at the end can be covered or uncovered to change the level of suction. A word of warning: When the hole is uncovered it can sometimes emit a noise that sounds a little flatulent. The suction works well though, so we can let it pass.

Although the Tenga is described as an "onacup" (nifty word-play on onanism), it is like most sex toys in that it is even better when incorporated into sex with someone else. Get your partner to use it on you and the experience moves to a whole new level of whoa! It is the uber-hand-job.

The advisory info. states that unless a condom is worn, this is a one-go thing. That means chucking it away afterward. This, rightly so, is for safe sex purposes, but it would be the key drawback. You can't clean the Tenga out, so if you do cum inside, it's just going to stay in there. (Eww.) Apart from that, it's great. It feels as tight as you want it to, you can go at the speed you need, and it makes a nice change from your hand.

 -- Max Dong