Review

To paraphrase Marie Antoinette, "Let them eat cock!"

Behold, Soccer Shooters - a delicious dick flick that, finally, grants All Worlds Video bragging rights to a juicy porn fantasy in which the actual sexual antics are as intensely hot as the models performing them. This hasn’t always been the case, as my past criticisms of some suspiciously aloof All Worlds hunks practically accuse ’em of being gay for pay.

Well fear not, porn hounds, because All Worlds has recruited a gag-reflex-worthy gang of truly enthused cock-lusters and butt-busters here and, as written, produced and directed by Chad Donovan, the studly encounters are pure sexual dynamite. In fact, during my tenure as a “reviewer” (cough, cough, wink, nudge) of gay porn, I can’t recall another flick that urged me more frequently to the point where I had to squeegee my screen clean in order to continue observing/reviewing the movie. It’s that yummy.

We open with some tantalizing footage of soccer practice followed by a team shower, with poor towel boy Antonio taking abuse left and right from a few of the jerk-off athletes (verbal taunts, moist jocks strapped onto his face, etc.). Don’t feel too poorly for Antonio though, for he gets to ogle the well-hung lads in the shower and secretly sniff through their lockers after they’ve gone. He’s also got a secret buddy in Cameron Fox, who’s tender and nice and rightly calls his boorish teammates assholes (spoken with a manly lisp, I might add).

Tony gawks at the soapy studs’ smooth derrières and eyes their flopping dongers as they exit and grab a towel. Soon Cameron is the last man in the shower, and he makes quite a show of washing his bits and pieces for Antonio, who’s practically drooling as fluidly as a leaky shower nozzle. Lots of tension and heated eye contact between Antonio and Cameron here, and you can practically feel both boys pop a serious double boner, but this is all merely an escalating tease - for now.

After the team leaves, Coach (goateed Latino fuck-hunk Jean Val Jean - hot, hot, hot!) interrupts Tony while he’s furtively smelling Cameron’s sweaty jockstrap. Before you know it, we’re in Coach’s office for a foot-taping, leg-wrapping lesson.

As the strums of a Spanish guitar and the synthetic beats of the muzak-machine kick into gear on the soundtrack, we’re treated to some sensuous foot play (massaging, shrimping the Coach’s piggies) and then some mouth-watering, throat-cramming, deep-throat, cock-swallowing action, performed with the proper enthusiasm and skill of a boy who’s obviously sucked a cock or two (dozen?) before - and who, most importantly, reveals a quenchless zeal and zest for it.

Cock pig Antonio, armed with a tongue stud, starts by licking the stiffening base of Jean’s manly tool while it’s still half wrapped in his undies, then whips it all out and proceeds to suck deep on its full curvy hardness. Antonio is a proficient ball sucker, too, as he slurps heartily on Jean’s fuzzy nutsack just before spinning the Coach around 180 degrees so he can face-dive into his firm bubbly ass and offer an anal Bronsky betwixt his lightly furry cheeks.

Abruptly we cut to Coach plowing deep into Antonio’s tight quivering buttocks while propped up against a chair with his booty arched back, followed by a power-slam while he’s laying back on a rickety tabletop, hairy legs held aloft and apart. Trust me, this one’s a sweaty four-alarm fire that climaxes in a splashy shower of jism that leaves Antonio absolutely drenched in stick. So what if Coach doesn’t suck cock; Towel Boy sucks enough for the both of ’em.

And if that’s not enough face-fucking action, next up is a tonsil-lunging twosome between tall, lean, smooth and heavily hung Jerek and wily celebrity look-alike Lee (let’s just say Lee bears such a striking resemblance to Tobey Maguire that I spurt quite a few wrist-webs watching him give deep head to Jerek’s long mushroom-crowned tool).

Likewise, Jerek flicks his tongue stud all over Lee/Tobey’s staff, returning exquisite deep-gag favors, sucking too on his plump huevos and slurping his hole all in one maneuver while Lee’s bottom is propped over Jerek’s face. Lee pops a gushy thick load all over Jerek’s jaw and neck; Jerek jerks out a splashy load in response.

Next day at the soccer field, after the game: Ruh-roh - Cameron’s sprained his thigh or something. Looks like Antonio will have to deploy his newly learned wrapping skills on him. They abscond to the massaging table.

Meanwhile, Jerek, Trent, Lee and Jay are letting it all hang out in the shower. Trent notices that Jerek has popped a boner and so he teases him and calls the others’ attention to it, but then he kneels and instantly shoves it down his gullet. Just like a good boy. Adjacent, Lee and Jay grope each other and start making out under the spraying nozzles. Jerek and Lee lean against the tile wall and stand side by side, both getting deep sucked in tandem by Trent and Jay. This bit is fetchingly photographed, as is the entire production for that matter, slicker by leaps and bounds than many of the studio’s earlier efforts - bravo!

Our next image is of Jerek rimming both Jay and Trent’s smooth ass crevasses in one fell swoop, then we get some serious heinie-slamming on the tile floor, with Lee fucking Jay and Trent plowing Jerek - surprise, surprise, given Trent’s swift assumption of the submissive oral bottom role earlier. And we should all observe a moment of silence, please, to ponder the missed opportunity of Jerek’s hung-way-deep tool, a huge cock for the plowing that, alas, goes unplowed into anyone’s rectum here. Happily, the cum-drenched finale more than compensates for the big-dicked bottom thing. This leads to an awkward post-coital embrace that prompts Trent to storm out with an amusing punch line.

And I trust you haven’t forgotten about Antonio and Cameron on the massaging table. A rub rub here, a rub rub there, and soon Cameron unfurls his towel and wields a full-blown stiffy for Antonio to make love to with his mouth.

Cameron then concerns himself with tonguing and prodding Antonio’s tight pink cherry hole to ready it for a fierce ass-slapping hole pounding in which Antonio takes it deep and wide from Cameron every which way but loose. After which point I desperately needed to drink some Gatorade to help replenish my spent fluids. *Gasp* What else can I say?

Mucho kudos to All Worlds, who’ve definitely raised their bar with this highly polished and extremely well-cast hit. These guys are downright delectable, the chemistry between them is electrifying and - hallelujah! - they all get nasty like they like it. This flick’s ripe for endless sticky replayings. They shoot, they score!

 -- Beef Stroganoff