Review

To begin with, there’s a saying I’d like to paraphrase: “If you can’t run with the big doggies, better stay on the porch.” Appropriate, methinks, given that the muscular hunks on display in Dirty Deeds are all gruff, manly men - a cross between a muscled Marine and a scruffy lumberjack. No frail, twinkie wimps in sight.

The title of the first sequence - "Fed XXX" - should be a succinct indication of what sort of scenario we’re in store for. Uniformed Michael Soldier struts into a basement workspace carrying a box to deliver, and berates hunky attendant Buck Philips for his distasteful interest in the pornographic paraphernalia apparently inside.

No sooner said, the delivery boy drops to his knees and gets a tasty mouthful of Buck’s unleashed meat. Fed XXX boy sucks greedily on Buck’s cock, gagging and choking with animalistic zeal. Buck, who could pass for the younger brother of studly Jason Branch as far as I’m concerned, frantically face-fucks Michael, who deep-throats his thick dick expertly. There’s no music at this point either, only manly grunts, wet slurps, and the muffled throaty sounds of a gag-reflex being triggered by a massive cock shoved too far into a hungry man’s gullet. Michael continues to suck Buck while Buck’s probing fingers offer Michael anal joy.

Buck brutishly tears off Michael’s tight white briefs and shoves himself in from behind, pounding furiously as Michael sucks on Buck’s toes. They continue to fuck in a variety of positions, captured from seemingly every conceivable camera angle and sharply edited. Favorite bit in this sequence: Buck delivers a creamy payload on Michael’s velvety swath of chest hair, wipes it up and smears it across Michael’s face. (We never do find out if the delivery boy resumes the duties of his route in a timely fashion.)

Brace yourselves for segment two, aptly named "Cock Stuffer." Not for the faint of heart, the two studs in this sequence do things to themselves and each other that frighteningly exceed the limitations of what I consider "vanilla." A title card explains that cock stuffing is "the art of fucking a cock with a steel rod." Read on for more...

We open as military-hunk Joe Stack gulps down on lumberjack Matt McGrath’s pierced meat and sucks violently on his low-hangers, which are squeezed torturously tight in his grip and slapped hard repeatedly. Matt’s threshold for pain is pushed further as Joe tugs forcefully on Matt’s thick-gauged Prince Albert horseshoe piercing. Next, they’re both dangling a black boot from their balls, laced tight around the base of the scrotum, their bulging big ‘nads squeezed purple by the weight. With a metallic “clink, clink, clink,” Joe plunks even more steel weights into Matt’s sack-tugging boot, hanging heavily beneath like a mighty pendulum, providing a bulbous testicular treat for Joe to spit-shine.

Snaps to the music department here, as the atypically airy score rings with metallic chimes that signal the serious steel play about to follow. Matt wields a shiny rod, roughly the width of a fountain pen and about the length of a ruler, slightly bent at the ends. Inch by inch, Matt slides the lubricated rod (I had to inquire: in the medical field, this device is known as a “sound”) into the stretched urethra of his flaccid dong. (I imagine attainment of erection is inhibited with the sound inserted; and I’m quite sure an ill-timed hard-on, if achieved, would be somewhat discomforting with that prong still inside. But I digress...)

Joe jerks off Matt’s cock as the exposed half of the sound pokes out of the lanced shaft, gleaming brilliantly. Joe orally bears down on the entire apparatus, deep-throating the cock with the steel rod securely inserted. Matt then sucks on Joe’s own pierced cock and, in what is either a remarkable feat of oral dexterity or merely a simple trick of editing, seemingly unscrews and removes Joe’s Prince Albert using only his tongue.

As Joe chows down on - and promptly fucks - Matt’s hairy hole, the typical techno-porn music kicks in. Joe squirts on Matt’s nuts and leans over to lap up his own creamy load. We never do see Matt fully erect but he does manage to squeeze out a thick wad as Joe coaches him on with boisterous, militaristic vigor.

Next, to cleanse the palate, we take a breather for a few minutes of raw, unedited video footage of Joe Stack’s photo shoot. After Joe the human garden hose launches an arcing stream of pee clear across the lot, he whacks off posed next to and laying on top of a parked motorbike, half-dressed as a construction worker in boots and a shiny hard hat.

The final sequence, "Initiation," features two buff, tattooed muscle hunks, Robert Black and Bryce Pierce, both wearing nothing but black boots. We open as smooth-chested Robert is stroking his thick, veiny tool alone. In trots Bryce, who immediately drops and deep-throats it. After some deep kissing, Bryce heartily rims Robert, but it’s Robert who turns out to be the top.

Bryce, by the way, has enough penile piercings to warrant the nick-name "Frankendick," and he sports a sprawling tattoo on his back that weaves across his shoulder blades and slithers down along his spine, inching like an inky treasure trail to the cleft of his perfectly sculpted bubble butt. And Robert’s thick tool is sufficiently long enough that, for extended stretches of time from several angles, we’re treated to the illusion that he’s barebacking Bryce because the latex rim of the condom he’s wearing remains obscured inside Bryce’s tightened cheeks. Bravo on the camerawork and editing!

The finale features a bound and gagged Bryce getting a thorough stroke job from Robert. Best bit: Bryce wipes up Robert’s load and feeds it back to him, then leans in for a salty lip-locked conclusion.

Like kink? If so, this raunchy "spunktacular" will leave you wincing with delight. Expect plenty of rough scruff, hard muscles, shiny boots, big dicks, plump nuts, body piercings, cock rings, scenes of cock and ball torture, incidents of cum-eating and the protracted use of that notorious steel rod.