Review

Some people may think reviewing porn for a living is an easy life. It's not. You try breaking down each scene into which performer does what to whom, how often and where, especially these days when the performers all look exactly alike. Constantly trying to differentiate by concentrating on the odd mole, or whether one wore jewelry or not.

Imagine my horror when this fell into my lap. Fifteen men that appear so alike it looks as if they were cloned from a single cell found on the bathroom floor in a particularly notorious L.A. sex club. And if that's not hard enough, you try coming up with seventy-eight different synonyms for "blowing one's load". Herve Handsome, sunkissed gorgeous uncut men, great locations, yadda yadda yadda. Let's talk about sex, baby...

We start, conveniently enough, by the pool as Sapka, Nadas and Kacer make out in the shallow end. The mature Sapka takes control, choking on Kacer's huge schlong whilst Nadas chows down on his disco tits. Out comes Sapka's magnificent baby-maker and the two fight over it before they both take turns spitroasting him. Sapka proves he's an insatiable bottom and he milks the two uncut monster-pricks dry.

Next up there's seduction in the sauna. Golyo – gorgeous in Medic Men, still gorgeous here – is charmed by (Darth?) Vador whilst Zaftos and Sanjal watch from the side. Golyo's impressive tongue worship of Vador's chiseled torso gets them all so turned on a fourway of megahung megahunks occurs. Zaftos rides Sanjal's baloney pony whilst the fab Golyo straddles Vador, proving he was born for this job - his cock stays rockhard as he bounces about like I-don't-know-what. Golyo eventually surrenders his coozey to all three, before bringing them all off orally. What a guy.

Back poolside Labda and Magam relax with an O.J. after their swim. Within seconds Magam is licking the drink off his partner's six-pack and get down to the sort of things you wouldn't normally see in a Sunny Delight advert. Magam gets on the table and plays hot bitch, and I'm thinking these guys don't hang around, but with these sort of studs – you snooze, you lose, girlfriend!

A visit to the gym introduces us to three dumb belles with more than dumbbells on their minds! Babkave can't control himself and undresses Herculean hunk Labas. We all get a big surprise to find that he's shaved off all his body hair! What a fruit, but it makes his serpentine piece look even bigger. Dirty blonde Gabona watches before stripping naked and sampling Babkave's oral skills. The sight of Babkave's exposed hole is too tempting for Labas and he slides himself all the way in, fucking like a bunny rabbit. As they try different positions, Gabona isn't shy with the oral relief. Unable to control themselves all three pop their cookies, covering Babkave with hot white treats.

It's pool of a different kind - the one played with cues. Once again it's balls of a different kind that these guys have in mind, as the muscular Jarkal and Landzsa converge on Sarlo. Soon Landzsa treats his donkey-donged friends to blow jobs, and Sarlo proudly gets spit-roasted on the pooltable several times before they shoot all over his gorgeous body.

I take back what I said. I like this job. More please. Shame though that there was no "hands up botty" antics, because I thought of a nice by-line that I'll have to save for another time: Fisting by the Pool.

What a great movie! Miles of cock and kilometers of foreskin. I'm still drooling. The stars of the show are definitely Golyo and Sapka - please give me their phone numbers.

 -- Froufrou A. Gogo