Review

"…He’s ba-a-aack!" Roll up! Roll up, for Hot House’s Greatest Show on Earth! You’ll gasp. You’ll gawk. You’ll gape. You’ll doubt your very sanity that such acrobatic feats can be performed by mere mortals. Here you’ll find animals uncaged for your own amusement; unpredictable and dangerous!

So roll up and come inside because Perfect Fit is about to begin.

We start as Shaw (coerced out of retirement by Scarborough, the eternal enfant-terrible of power porn) jerks off over and then abandons Mario Ortiz in a sleazy sex club. But just one shower of juice isn’t enough for Ortiz, who turns his attention to the massive barrel-chested Knight and the fellow horned-up inhabitants. Shaw is soon forgotten because once these guys have been wound up they spin across the scene in a sleazetastic twenty minute set piece that the Pagan God Pan would himself applaud! When the first round of slick white man-batter is unleashed Summers retreats - unsurprising considering the pounding he’s just received - leaving the remaining torrid trio to explore each others sensuous chiseled bodies. Musclefans will go berserk as Knight flexes and poses, jackhammering asses and (best of all) on his hands and knees covering Ortiz’s uncut dong in pints of anticipatory spit and drool. Colmar shines as he unleashes a volcanic spray of sex-piss after both have fucked his tight ass in to submission and finally, Ortiz shows once more why he’s quickly shot to slut-stardom.

Englishman Abroad Shaw trawls the Frisco sidewalks like some urban tumbleweed and encounters Wolf, but before anything can happen Tag Adams drives along in his big red truck, catching greedy Shaw’s eye. They travel to a factory where Tag proves that although he may look like butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth, or any other body part for that matter, it’s all a façade: he’s naked and inhaling the limey’s massive uncut cock like a man condemned to his last meal - it’s a full seven minutes of Shaw standing in awe as he receives the expert oral attention. Once his hole is lubed by our coverstar’s darting tongue, Tag climbs aboard and is banged almost unconscious by the energetic top-stud. They take each other to their respective extremes, Tag staying rockhard throughout this dirtiest of dirty-dancing.

Maybe there’s something in the water at this particular factory because downstairs muscled supervisor Maxwell decides to take on the dynamic duo of Vega and Rodman. Both cocks are eye-wateringly huge and the bearded Maxwell is soon on his knees sucking both like a cheap whore! It’s all too much for Vega who spends his beer-money over the inviting ass of the boss, perfectly framed by a white jock. Rodman looks like he’s got something to hide, never once removing his baseball cap and shades, as his tool is slurped over by the enthusiastic Maxwell who finishes this searing scene truly fucked rotten, bathing in both pools of cum.

Back on the street Shaw bumps into partners O’Neal ands Josh Adams. Aiden complains that though his sex-life is great, his lovelife is dead-in-the-water. Alas, Dear Abby isn’t around to point out that if he hung about long enough to get his trick’s numbers he wouldn’t need a season ticket at the singles bar!

In their pad, the two lovebirds prove that monogamy really is worth exploring as tongues explore each other’s mouths before descending to much more X-rated parts of the body. Tattooed Adams is first to swallow everything his hung, hairy long-term-lover can offer. (If familiarity usually breeds contempt, these guys are the exception.) As they sixty-nine O’Neal suddenly makes a break for Adams delicious hole, kissing and licking it before rubbering up and showing the world why gays really should get married – he gives Adams the ass-pumping, butt-slapping, prostate-poking hole-splitting treatment that screams “We’ve mated for life!” Like horny Puffins. It’s yet another twenty minutes of pure unadulterated blistering joy to behold. Move over Patsy and Eddie, because Adams and O’Neal are Absolutely Fabulous!

As fortune would have it Shaw manages to cross paths once more with woof-stud Wolf, and this time there’s no-one around to spoil their fun. The film’s final scene is another tour-de-fuck with the dudes getting busy on a big blue bed - Wolf offers up his famous hole for a fifteen minute long piston-powered-prick-plunging that almost has him groaning in submission. Each thrust Shaw gives sends both spiraling higher and higher to a sexual euphoria neither have felt before. It ends with Wolf as the willing recipient of both lots of their liquid love, glistening amongst his hairy frame. And boy howdy, can Wolf spurt - for miles!

And so ends of cock-ringed circus for another night! Hit replay and relive the entire experience again!

But nothing is 100% perfection, so if I can think of just one complaint it’s this. Aiden Shaw - please suck dick. Every star does it these days, even Michael Lucas (once in a while). The days of a star getting all the oral attention and giving none died when Jeff Stryker finally succumbed to licking a shaft or two. I have a feeling that Scarborough always teams Shaw up with energetic power bottoms who throw so much into their performances it looks like Shaw’s doing all the work and giving them the time of their lives. (I’m sure Wolf was happier drinking his leather daddy’s piss from a bowl as a puppy dog tail butt plug was sticking out of his nether regions in the Director’s Cut version of Skuff II: Downright Filthy.)

Notes about the DVD version:
Hot House love to treat us when we buy their stuff, and once again this baby is packed with surprises. Trailers and animated multi-choice-chapter pages round off disc one, while in disc two the goodies galore have to been seen to be believed… and appreciated! Comprehensive galleries of ten of the stars plus a wonderful action gallery give us nearly two hundred high-quality full-color specially-shot stills that you’ll want to leave on your coffee table. No piss-dull screencaps here, thank you!

Still hungry? Aiden tries his hand at Hot House’s new mini–movie series Stroke: thirteen minutes of sweat-and-greased up muscled torso beating that unforgettable firestick to a glorious finale. What struck me most about this (apart from how stunning he really is) was that he was jerking to his own performance in other pornos. What is this thing called ego? Luckily there’s an eleven minute cumshot compilation here as well.

Finally there’s a twenty minute interview and retrospective of Aiden, the guy who’s made more farewell performances than Cher. Combining brand new specially shot behind-the-scenes footage with candid archive interviews and clips make it a relatively revealing portrait that fans will love. Others will be forwarding to the dirty bits from On the Mark (with Jake Andrews) and Descent (with Marcus Iron and the most underappreciated bottom in porn history, Chris Rock). Closed captioning wouldn’t have gone amiss here because the 1993 interview hasn’t the sharpest sound and Aiden’s incredibly thick Northern English accent is pretty incomprehensible. Luckily Accrington-accents are replaced with received-pronunciation in the 2004 exploration of what makes him tick, what makes him hot, what makes him hotter and what made him survive his terrible car accident a few years back. You’ll still forward to the dirty bits.

To sum up? Hmmm. Difficult. I can only try…