Review

Dr. Gregory Darvis' appointment book is open... and so are my "patients" at the Darvis Proctology Institute. Hello there, G-Spot seekers. I'm so pleased at the number of “thanks, Doc” for my past recommendation of the njoy Pure Wand. Although pricey, that beautiful silver wand gives you the "ultimate bang for the buck" once in place up your highway of fun. In more ways than one, it's outta sight!

Down the hall from the Darvis Proctology Institute is my Institute of Colonic Research and Anal Fun, where I've done probing studies on the Nexus Omax Hands Free Massager. According to the packaging, "the Nexus Range is a luxury brand of adult toys specifically designed to send the male G-spot into overdrive." I must admit that the descriptive statement and the instructions were exciting to read and ponder, but upon using it on/with three of my patients, I find that the Nexus O Max doesn't quite live up to its hype.

Here are a few bits of info: "Innovative hands-free male G-spot toy designed so that users can rock their way to orgasm." The Nexus Seal of Approval states that it "contains no phthalates" and God knows, I don’t want to force any phthalates up any anal canal in search of pleasure. I also noticed a disclaimer within the packaging: "Use this product at [your] own risk." You should see this thing's large super-soft silicone three-ball design. Friends and anal patients of mine should know that when I say this massager is large I'm talking large - made of black rubber, and with impressively large black balls.

Patient One: "Doc, please, no way can I handle that one."
Patient Two: ...passed out and remained in shock for a few hours of non-pleasure.
Patient Three: "I'm going to need a lot of lube to get the first two balls up my butt, but how in the world will the third one be long enough to put pressure on my perineum?"

At this point I need to add that I think I have the pygmy version of this huge massage toy. Its balls are huge but from my research, simply cannot do everything it says. And all of my patients love perineum attention to the point of addiction but with two of the large balls up one's butt, if (stress on the word if) one can get that far, the third one can hardly reach "Doc's perky powerhouse playground."

Further reading of the instructions say you need to insert the two large balls up your anal canal with hopes the first one is pressing down upon your prostate. Try it. I did. My patients did... and everyone needed help, shoving, slamming, pushing, forcing, etc. Between the gulps and gasps and cries of "Doc, I just cannot handle both balls up my hole," lubed to the hilt I gave up trying. I glanced at the continuing information: "For a full benefit of the massager, once in place, you should lie back for at least 15 minutes, deeply breathing, and getting your sphincter to clinch, suck at and caress the intruder." So I guess what they're saying is that when this prostate toy is in place, if that can ever happen, one needs to take a nap before even thinking about an having orgasm.

This curious prostate massager gets the Doc's less-than-average grade of "C" for its rather unwieldy design and practically-impossible manipulation ability for either a solo event or as a party attention-getter. Some of you may go gaga over the Nexus Omax Hands Free Massager, but both my patients and I found it to be just not worth the effort.

 -- Dr. Gregory Darvis