Review

Male Bar is simplicity itself, and done to near perfection. Eleven guys are hanging out at a bar, doing the sort of things guys do at a bar - shoot pool, play video games, etc. And after that, they have sex with each other. Why can’t all neighborhood gay bars be like this?

There’s no music, no dialog, no big choreography, just sex - sex performed by some of the hottest studs this side of the Danube Any one of them could step out of an A&F catalog, and some could truly stop traffic - at the Indianapolis 500. They all are having a helluva good time, and they’re all sporting erections that could break glass.

As with most Eastern European videos, there is very little deep-throat cock-sucking; instead we get delicious sights of tongues dancing on heads, nibbling copious foreskins or licking shafts. The fucking scenes are fierce but standard: Each scene has the bottom bending over a bar stool and taking it from behind. Only twice do we get additional positions. Each also has the camera from below for close-ups even tighter than the assholes they’re recording.

Male Bar begins with a terrific quick-edit montage that introduces the whole cast as they hang out; you’ll start drooling before anything happens. Then we meet the bartender, the bare-chested, blond-maned, and abs-to-die-for Adriano Lazarri, who belongs on Venice Beach as much as Venice, Italy. He’s talking with the hot, dark Jerry O’Connor; despite the name, he’s the most ethnic-looking guy of the cast.

Tired of talking, Adriano steps around the bar, grabs Jerry’s very tight ass, and gives him a deep lip-lock. (Yeah, like all bartenders do that.) He works his tongue down O’Connor’s chest and sucks on his dickhead while stroking the shaft. Jerry returns the favor with a hands-free suck and lots of ball-licking. Then comes the first of the video’s lengthy, come-from-behind fucks, as Adriano’s cock makes itself at home inside Jerry’s ass. All the fucks of Male Bar last a long, long time, but as they say, too much of a good thing is never enough! Adriano finally shoots all over Jerry’s ass, and Jerry shoots all over the floor.

Next up is an all-oral scene, involving pool players stubble-headed punkster Jean-Paul Valens and serious studmuffin Silvio Pantera, who trade their cuesticks for their mouths. (For an Eastern European video, there is a delightfully large amount of kissing.) A not-so-innocent bystander, the devilish goateed, tattooed Claudio Antonelli, takes off his clothes and joins in the fun. Silvio sucks both men with generous and varied blowjobs while they toy with the tip of each other’s tongues. Claudio shoots rather quickly and walks away. Jean-Paul though takes to the floor and brings Silvio to a gushing climax all over his face. Both sit back on the table and kiss while Jean-Paul brings himself off.

Square-jawed and smooth-chested Rick Perry is trying to play video slots, but he’s distracted by the nuzzling of his buddy Laurent D’Amore, with a five-o’clock shadow, hairy chest and Roman nose. He finally gives up and joins Laurent for some unexpectedly tender kissing and chest caressing. But the sweetness ends there as Laurent falls to his knees as Rick fucks his face with his huge, seemingly never-ending poker. When the assfuck comes, you can feel it reaching up to Laurent’s lungs. After a while Rick flips Laurent over and lifts his legs for even more deep penetration. The thrusts are long and deep, and the scene ends with two satisfied climaxes.

Beer’s gotta go someplace, so the action moves to the john. Standing at one urinal is Ted Colunga, maybe the best-looking and heaviest-hung man in the place. He’s drop-dead gorgeous and his cock could kill you. Spike-haired Kevin Cage joins him at another urinal and pulls out his own hefty piece. Both admire each other’s members before releasing steady streams. They head back out and immediate strip off their clothes.

Kevin tries to tackle that mega-slab, but it’s too big a meal for one man, so he’s joined by the young and cute Clay Robson, and they both munch on Ted’s beefsteak. You begin to wonder which guy’s asshole is going to get stretched, but – surprise - it’s Ted who bottoms. He bends over to take Kevin up the ass and Clay down the throat. After a while, Ted lies back on a table and gives his ass to Clay, who gives him a powerfuck worthy of his youth. Kevin strokes Clay’s chest before shooting his load, and Clay follows with another gusher. Ted ends this scene with his own thick load while pulling on his balls.

In the final scene, Jerry returns to play a video game with the dark, muscular Carlos Baxter. Jerry decides to give up, sits back on a sofa and starts jerking himself off. Carlos starts working Jerry’s cock with his pierced tongue, then throws Jerry’s legs up in the air for the video’s only rimming. Imagine the sensation of hot tongue and cool steel brushing against your hole, and you can see why Jerry’s smiling. Carlos then finger-fucks his buddy – one, two, three at a time. By now Jerry’s sphincter is quivering with anticipation, so Carlos flips him on his feet for the video’s final trademark cum-from-behind fuck. They then sit back on the couch and watch each other jerk off, as Male Bar ends with a bang - two, actually.

If one were to quibble, one might ask for a bit more variety in the sexual positions, but that’s more than made up for by the cast’s amazing heat and enthusiasm, and the stunningly intense camerawork. And when you’re finally done, you can relive it all with the DVD’s action gallery. Don’t even think about watching this in one sitting. It’s going to take you several rounds before you get through all of Male Bar.

 -- Jameson Rodgers