Review

Chalk up Lifestyles as another throbbing success for Michael Lucas, who not only has quite the eye for spotting seriously sexy sexpigs, he also orchestrates - and participates in - some tasty New York City man sex. And by "tasty" I’m referring to both the appetizing appeal of the fit and frisky cast as well as the salty taste of the creamy facials and oral shots some of ’em receive.

We open as lovers Chris Bolt and Lance Gear lay in bed discussing monogamy. Is Chris, who’s already daunted by the notion of his rapidly approaching 30th birthday, actually ready to commit? It’s off to the Christopher Street pier in Chelsea, where Chris and his buddies Chad and Brendon discuss and reminisce about their greatest conquests.

Chad tells the tall tale of his tryst with a Czech hustler (Milos) he once picked up on Christopher Street. Cut to Chad’s giant anaconda cock crammed in - and snaked down - Milos’ throat. Naturally, the stiffer Chad’s crank gets, the more challenging it is to swallow. Well, challenging for Milos perhaps; not for moi… surely not for moi.

Anyways, Chad slurps on Milos’ hairy pink hole and then on his hooded beef, eventually cramming his veiny battering ram deep into Milos’ rented tail pipe while the sated bottom hyperventilates in ecstasy.

Chris recalls the time he hooked up with a porn star (Lucas) who, just for a tweak, he pretended not to recognize. They get busy on the sofa with some kissing and sucking and grinding and sixty-nining, then Lucas tongue-fucks and fingers Chris’ spread-open O-ring. With much effort, Chris takes a shaft-deep seat on Lucas’ rigid tower of cockflesh and blows two juicy loads in quick succession while being pounded, then receives a tasty spurt in the facial.

Alas, there’s a surprising lack of combustion between Lucas and Chris here, even accounting for the so-called “romantic” flavor of the flick. Chris gets it on much more feverishly with Lance later on. As for Lucas, he’s already proven himself to be a wily sex fiend, so his relatively subdued behavior here is unexpected and, it must be said, tepid. Maybe Lucas was feeling vulnerable because Chris hadn’t fawned as expected.

Brandon recounts his threesome with a pair of punky thug papis (Enrico Verdes and Phillipe Mantaban) who are supposed to be brothers. They don’t really look alike but, remarkably, they’ve got identical down-curved cocks. Both take turns switch hitting Brandon’s throat and culo, getting the voracious bottom so roiled up he gives himself a gushy oral facial. Eventually he’s left wallowing in the glaze of both hombres’ pearly papi smear.

Chad and Brandon throw Chris a 30th Birthday Orgy and we watch a hung-stiff party of nine hairy and smooth stud-fucks celebrate. Most indelible image: the nine-man rim-and-suck with three hotties on their knees, asses facing the camera, munching on the arched holes of the three boys kneeled over the sofa in front of them, who in turn are cock-swallowing the three stud hunks perched atop the sofa back. I don’t know why, exactly, but I was reminded of the tic-tac-toe title screens from The Brady Bunch and Hollywood Squares. Of course, those shows never boasted such spectacular geysers of spurting boy cream as the ones that gush impressively here.

After this splattery debauchery, Chris is finally prepared to commit to a monogamous relationship with Lance. They consummate their vow with deep-choke suck jobs, slurpy rim chews and versatile heinie pokes.

Lucas has an eye for spotting big talent, and the gaggle of cock-wagging playthings he’s collected here will put a big throb in your pants. Definitely four-star material. However, to be fair, I’ve gotta dock the film’s rating a half-star - not just for that lack-of-combustion thing I mentioned earlier, but more for some sloppy technical aspects. Videography is generally very good, but the jostling-camera stuff is amateurish. Also, because Lucas doesn’t dub music over his films, we hear exaggerated ambient noise, which includes the sound of the camera being handled. On the upside, the wet squishy noises accompanying the myriad ass-slammings are sure to delight.

The theme here is geared more towards romantic sex rather than animalistic sex, but amid the tenderness is some hearty cock-chugging and plenty of sweaty ass-slamming, all of which is guaranteed to put a gulp in your throat and a twitch in your seat.

 -- Beef Stroganoff