Review

The term "bedside manner" takes on an entirely new meaning in Laid Up, a wild dose of doctor-patient indiscretions. The film begins with Sizemore, who is none too pleased about the rectal exam he’s receiving from hunky doc Andrews. Sizemore is a classic "everyman" type – muscular and hairy with a slightly shopworn (i.e. "natural") look that makes him look less like a "porn star."

Anyway, Andrews goes poking around Sizemore’s shitter with gloved fingers and some sort of scope, which incenses the big Mary, forcing him to turn the tables and give the good doctor a taste of his own medicine. Sizemore shoves the scope into Andrews' bum and then shines a flashlight in the fleshy corridor. You end up seeing more than you ever wanted of Andrews' core. Before you know it, Sizemore (who is aptly named) has sent his own personal anal probe into Andrews, who turns out to be a very vocal bottom. Sizemore is quite a little fucker, and he slams Andrews with gusto. Andrews ends up with his feet in stirrups, as Sizemore does his top duty. Although red-hot, it goes on a little too long without a change in the action.

Next up we have Turner (a dark-haired hottie on crutches), and Collins, who has one of the most perfect bodies ever captured on film (just watching him is an exercise in visual stimulation). Collins massages his legs, which sends Turner into a tizzy. Collins then drops his scrubs, revealing his titanic ebony schvantz. Turner ends up on his back, as Collins slams his face with his mahogany ass-plunger. Turner then gets to feast on Collins’ perfect bubble butt, until Collins turns around and unloads his pearly cargo all over Turner’s chest. Some black-on-white ass-slamming is next, performed in two different positions.

Collins, apparently not sated from this encounter, moves on to another "patient," played by hairy hunk o' man Reed. Collins drops to his knees and administers some oral TLC to Reed’s reed, before bending him over and performing a rudimentary colonoscopy with his dusky flesh-scope. The scene could have used a little bit more foreplay before getting into the heavy stuff, but it’s a humdinger nonetheless.

Next scene is classic: Two horny orderlies (Knight and Michaels) are going ballistic on each other’s mammoth organs in a supply closet. Enter the incredibly luscious Dr. Vincenzo, who turns the two men into his crazed sex slaves. There’s too much here to go into intimate detail, but it’s a 10 on the hot-o-meter. Lots of oral, anal and a circle jerk, too!

The final scene will either have you either squirming or shooting (perhaps both).

Parker, a hairy bearded bear with an eye patch, slowly inserts a thick metal rod (known as a "sound") into his piss slit! It’s slow and excruciating to watch, as you can see the sound going all the way down to the bottom of the shaft. Parker obviously gets a kick out of inserting metal rods into his urethra, since he’s rock-hard the entire time. Horny intern Matthews tries his hand at pumping the sound up and down inside Parker’s schlong. During this unsettling display, Matthews is getting a halfie. He eventually whips it out and starts yanking, which inspires Parker to put his toy away and do the same.

As with all Titan films, the men are incredibly hot, the action is scorching and the camerawork is pro all the way. The only problem with the film is that a there are a couple of scenes that go on a little too long, and you find yourself wishing for a change in the action.

In summation, Laid Up is pretty powerful stuff that will surely cure what ails ya'.

 -- T.J. Maxxwell