Review

If you’re not picky about your porn, Jet Set Muscle will suit you just fine. After all, it has what porn should have - a full roster of gorgeous men who take off their clothes and have sex with each other. And these young men are indeed gorgeous. They are wonderfully built men (in this case twelve, not counting the one obvious exception), without any body hair to "cover up" their classically chiseled torsos – it's a Greek statuary museum come to life.

And yes, they have sex with each other - they suck each other, they fuck each other, and they talk dirty while they do it. They all sport rock-hard erections, and they shoot copious loads. There are three three-ways, one duo, and a concluding mass j.o. session. So, if that’s all you need, go ahead and click the buy button right now!

But...

Let’s start with the star. Yes, behind all those muscles, "J. Steele" is indeed Ty Fox, who disappeared several years ago after his ex-wife exposed his "sideline" job while he was working as high school gym teacher; it made all the papers! Five years, thousands of bench presses and untold quantities of steroids later, he has resurfaced with a new name and a gargantuan new body. It really is a little grotesque, especially when he stands next to his perfectly proportioned cast members.

Then there’s the scenario. The setting is outside an ultra-modern estate high up a Hollywood hill around an over-designed pool. Apparently we’re at a seminar for personal trainers led by “headmaster trainer” Mr. Steele, who sounds and looks frighteningly like that guy in the informercials for that leg-swinging home exercise equipment.

And then there’s the sex itself. Yes, it is efficient, and yes, you see lots of penetration shots with the camera between the legs, but it’s all cookie-cutter sex. First, everybody takes turns sucking cock, and then somebody bends over and takes it up the ass. There’s no variety.

But even more, the sex isn’t done all that well. Jet Set is notorious for using very pretty, and very straight, young studs. In the kissing, too often the mouths seem to just miss each other. In the oral action, there’s lots of shaft-licking, and when a mouth does take a cock, it rarely go much farther past the head (only once does someone take a hard cock down to the root). In the rimming, the tongues always seem to just miss the hole, and lick the cheeks instead. And while you can’t fake the fucking from the video’s preferred camera angle, it still lacks conviction from either the top or bottom. To make up for their technical “deficiencies,” the guys talk up a blue streak about how hot the sex is. It’s just the sort of gay sex you would expect from straight trade. (Joe Foster is credited as "Joey;" Diego Javier is credited as "Javier.")

For those who want play-by-play action, here’s the breakdown:

Scene 1: Joey Foster, Curt Baldwin and Antonio Suave suck each other (Joey better than the others), and then Foster fucks first Baldwin, then Suave.

Scene 2: The dark Cody Prescott and Nino Bacci suck the blonde bombshell Dante and each other, before Prescott and Dante fuck Bacci (a truly professional asshole).

Scene 3: For some variety, stocky bodybuilder Callahan, extra-lean George Favor and perfect medium Alex LeMonde go at each other. The genuinely sexy LeMonde spouts some unnecessary French, (to show that this is an “international” seminar, I suppose), but that’s OK, because he does the best French of the video. There’s lots of asshole display, and then first LeMonde, then Callahan fuck Favor.

Scene 4: The “headmaster” Steele sucks his assistant Justin Mycles (with thighs of a speedskater), who then fingerfucks Steele. Steele fucks Mycles, who we eventually discover has a piercing on his undershaft.

Scene 5: The finale has some laughably bad dialogue, as the two trainers lead the cast in some poses and then demonstrate cock-sucking, while the class jerks off.

Yeah, the guys are pretty (you can cum just from looking at them), but when push comes to shove, the old rule still applies: Don’t send a straight boy to do a gay man’s job.

 -- Jameson Rodgers