Review

Get this movie. Now. Right now. An astounding porn triumph, In Gear is porn at its best - wild, unbridled animal sex (without the animals). Every one of these guys either popped a whole bottle of Viagra before the shoot or they really, really like having sex with other men. They aren’t the youngest or prettiest men in the biz, but their passion is so intense that it hardly matters.

Cover model Lance Gear is the ringleader here, in all his bald, goateed, furry glory. As the owner of an auto body shop, Gear sucks pee-pee and munches on butt like its going out of style. In the first scene, he’s paired with Reed, who has the most typical porn star look of the bunch. He also has a generous manrammer, which Gear devours with a rabid intensity rarely captured on screen.

After practically inhaling Logan’s meat, Gear does the same to his bum. Gear ends up on his back, with Reed’s tongue, and later his chumpy, wedged deep in Gear’s tush.

Next up is a blistering three-way between Gear, Cooper and Brandon, whose tool is of epic proportions. There’s feverish sucking, spitting and shtupping with an intensity that’s nothing short of blinding. Cooper has a 70’s porn star look that adds to the overall naughtiness of the scene. Gear and Cooper take turns blowing Brandon’s mega-meat. Gear ends up on his back as Brandon and Cooper take turns resting their weary bums on his face. Gear is then shtupped twice, first by Cooper and then by Brandon. The penetration is “no holes barred”, and the squeals of pleasure are too real to be staged.

Size queens get even more to sink their teeth into in the next scene, where Hunt’s monumental tube steak plays center stage. Sexpiglet Price is on Hunt’s shmeckle like a fly on a turd. The boy must have no uvula, because he manages to swallow most of Hunt’s tool with nary a gag. Price ends up on his back with Hunt’s hefty meat pounding him like nobody’s business. Price’s sphincter goes above and beyond the call of duty to accommodate Hunt’s freakishly large thingie.

The next scene is so heated you’ll be afraid of your DVD player melting. Gear and his bald, hairy buddy Southern take sexual excitement off the scale as they go at each other like rabid timber wolves. This one scene contains more moans, grunts and growls than a petting zoo. Judging by all the spitting in this scene, Gear apparently has very active salivary glands. You’ll thrill as Gear and Southern suck, rim and fuck their way into your heart.

The final scene keeps the heat turned all the way up. It’s a torrid foursome (actually two twosomes that meld into a foursome) featuring Gear, Hunt, West (moustache, hairy chest, Daddy), and Saxx (bespectacled, dark-haired, boyish qualities). As Gear goes to town on West’s ramrod, Saxx tackles Hunt’s humongous hanger. Gear then moves into multitask mode as he switches between lapping at West’s donut and gobbling Hunt’s hose. Hunt then drives his enormous pickle into Saxx, and Gear gets it in the poop chute from West. The climax of the scene is a howling fuck between Hunt and Gear, as our protagonist bravely and audibly takes Hunt’s unnaturally large piece in the heiney. Wow.

 -- T.J. Maxxwell