Review

In Gear
Review written by T.J. Maxxwell:
Get this movie. Now. Right now. An astounding porn triumph, In Gear is porn at its best - wild, unbridled animal sex (without the animals). Every one of these guys either popped a whole bottle of Viagra before the shoot or they really, really like having sex with other men. They aren’t the youngest or prettiest men in the biz, but their passion is so intense that it hardly matters.

Cover model Lance Gear is the ringleader here, in all his bald, goateed, furry glory. As the owner of an auto body shop, Gear sucks pee-pee and munches on butt like its going out of style. In the first scene, he’s paired with Reed, who has the most typical porn star look of the bunch. He also has a generous manrammer, which Gear devours with a rabid intensity rarely captured on screen.

After practically inhaling Logan’s meat, Gear does the same to his bum. Gear ends up on his back, with Reed’s tongue, and later his chumpy, wedged deep in Gear’s tush.

Next up is a blistering three-way between Gear, Cooper and Brandon, whose tool is of epic proportions. There’s feverish sucking, spitting and shtupping with an intensity that’s nothing short of blinding. Cooper has a 70’s porn star look that adds to the overall naughtiness of the scene. Gear and Cooper take turns blowing Brandon’s mega-meat. Gear ends up on his back as Brandon and Cooper take turns resting their weary bums on his face. Gear is then shtupped twice, first by Cooper and then by Brandon. The penetration is “no holes barred”, and the squeals of pleasure are too real to be staged.

Size queens get even more to sink their teeth into in the next scene, where Hunt’s monumental tube steak plays center stage. Sexpiglet Price is on Hunt’s shmeckle like a fly on a turd. The boy must have no uvula, because he manages to swallow most of Hunt’s tool with nary a gag. Price ends up on his back with Hunt’s hefty meat pounding him like nobody’s business. Price’s sphincter goes above and beyond the call of duty to accommodate Hunt’s freakishly large thingie.

The next scene is so heated you’ll be afraid of your DVD player melting. Gear and his bald, hairy buddy Southern take sexual excitement off the scale as they go at each other like rabid timber wolves. This one scene contains more moans, grunts and growls than a petting zoo. Judging by all the spitting in this scene, Gear apparently has very active salivary glands. You’ll thrill as Gear and Southern suck, rim and fuck their way into your heart.

The final scene keeps the heat turned all the way up. It’s a torrid foursome (actually two twosomes that meld into a foursome) featuring Gear, Hunt, West (moustache, hairy chest, Daddy), and Saxx (bespectacled, dark-haired, boyish qualities). As Gear goes to town on West’s ramrod, Saxx tackles Hunt’s humongous hanger. Gear then moves into multitask mode as he switches between lapping at West’s donut and gobbling Hunt’s hose. Hunt then drives his enormous pickle into Saxx, and Gear gets it in the poop chute from West. The climax of the scene is a howling fuck between Hunt and Gear, as our protagonist bravely and audibly takes Hunt’s unnaturally large piece in the heiney Wow.

Recommended for:
Everyone, unless you're hopelessly fixated on twinkies.
-T.J. Maxxwell

2nd Gear
Review written by Keeneye Reeves:

Let's set the record straight right away: Lance Gear cements himself a place in porn history here. He appears in every damned scene and never once lets the viewer down. Even if you're not a fan of his, you'll be totally pleased with his performance and want more. He looks the best he ever has here, and his wicked-ass grins at the camera will get you going.

We open with Lance making a sales pitch right at the camera for In Gear Autobody. Apparently Brad McGuire's muffler has fallen off (and it can't get up). Lance could give a shit, and makes a move on McGuire's gear through his denim-clad crotch. Freeing Brad's prodder, Lance goes down on the thick rod, sliding his tongue under Brad's considerable foreskin and acting the complete skin pig. A major oral pounding ensues, replete with drool and spit galore. (Actually, the film is littered with gallons of projectile saliva.) Brad barks to Lance "Betcha got a nice hole." A gagging Lance (g)lances up at Brad and mumbles "Uh huh!"

Brad rubs his pulsing cock and balls all over Lance's shaved head (the scene's a chrome-dome lover's wet dream) and then rims Lance, practically shoving his entire face in. The under-shot views of Brad rubbing his head in Lance's hole are extraordinarily hot; at one point I worried that Brad was gonna "head" him. You know what I mean - as opposed to fisting him. Anyway, Brad destroys Lance's butt and dumps his Penzoil all over Lance's shiny pate - and then licks it completely clean. Lance soon follows orgasm-wise, and lets loose a thick river of cream all over Brad's still-hard shaft - and licks it clean. Pep boys, indeed.

My favorite scene of the film is next;
it's one of Chi Chi's most-mood enhancing and best-shot ever.
Now, I never really paid Jack Ryan much notice before. Nothing personal, I just always found him to be a handsome albeit only adequate porn performer. Meaning - he does his job, he does it well, but he doesn't "do" anything for me. Well, he didn't used to anyway. After seeing this scene, I take that all back. This ranks as not only one of my favorites of the year, it gave me a whole new outlook on both Mr. Ryan and Mr. Gear.

Shot entirely in an underground garage with only minimal key lighting, the look of the scene alone is noteworthy. (Hue Wilde's photography throughout the film is terrific, but he and Chi Chi really nail it here.) Lance comes across Jack and his stalled SUV. Jack asks "Are you a mechanic?" Lance tosses back "Well, I know a thing or two about alternating." (Before you groan, the reason for all of the "cheesy" dialogue is revealed later on.)

I really don't want to do a full play-by-play here, as it's best to just see the scene for yourself. But basically, amidst no lighting other than the SUV's headlights up against a wall, an unshaven Jack and Lance go at it like mad. Keep an eye out for how beautiful - if that's the right word - the strings of spit and drool look in the glare of the headlights. There's tons of cock-smacking, spitting right in the face, crotch grabbing and dry humping. Not to mention an open-hood, practically in-the-car's-engine fuck. The scene's not revolutionary, it just works on every level and I watched it again as soon as it ended. Bravo to both stars.

A public stairwell snarl-fest is next, featuring Steve ("I'm running out of room for any more tattoos") Cannon and Nick Piston, a goateed-and-inked hung piece of trade that made my already-sore fleshstick rise to full mast again. (Love his belt buckle: "Parental Advisory - Explicit Content". And how!) Lots of filthy talk that would make your momma blush leads to deep kissing, spitting and drooling. Lance slithers in (after making another humorous comment to the camera) and a three-ring jerk and fuck session goes into overdrive.

The film's weakest scene (for me anyway) is next. And by weak I only mean it didn't "do it" for me; I'm sure others will love it. A real version of a gloryhole (torn, splinter-ridden and tattered, not some made-by-machine set decorator's version of) is effectively used by the camera to watch as Gavin takes a piss in a dirty bathroom. Lance shows up - natch - and proceeds to galvanize Gavin's engorged gunk-maker. Soon, with foot on the toilet, Lance gets fucked by Gavin. He grunts a bit too much (the one thing in the past that sometimes turned me off to Lance), almost "acting". But Lance eventually jerks himself a load, as Gavin then unloads his stuff on Lance's face. Gavin takes a taste of what his fury has wrought.

One of Chi Chi's best orgies in some time is next. Without the over-the-top nastiness of his Link films that scare some folk, it's a terrific finale. We open on the garage at In Gear Autobody, where Jerek, Danny, Adam, Rob and Peter are working on cars. Lance makes another "pitch" to the camera, at which point most of the cast laughs at him. Lance breaks character, glares at them and indignantly asks "What???" They claim that Lance sounds "like an infomercial" to which Lance remarks that he is, in fact, practicing for a commercial (thus explaining the "cheesy" remarks he's been directing at the camera throughout).

So much goes on in this scene that a full description is impossible. The insanely handsome Peter Raeg fellates his hubby Lance (as well as fingers and prods at most everyone else here), there are deep-throatings galore (Rob bobs back and forth between Lance and cutie Jerek at one point), and then in walks a goatee-less Chad Hunt - looking as hot as ever. The superhung one serves his snake up to one and all, with Rob being the most eager. Great camera shots from inside various cars document the goings on, and towards the end, one by one, each guy unloads his monkey grease on Lance's throat and face. Amen.

From Hue Wilde's crisp camerawork and Scott Coblio's clean editing, all the way to Jefferson's eye-grabbing box art and the performances from every model,
it's obvious that everyone involved had a blast making this.

2nd Gear is a signature Chi Chi release that won't leave you in neutral even for a second. Get it, and have an oil can nearby.
Your tin woodsman will thank you for it.
-Keeneye Reeves

All images and artwork © Rascal Video and Channel 1 Releasing.
(Used here with express permission.)
All text © TLA Entertainment Group.