Review

Remember Revenge of the Nerds? Well, Studio 2000 sure does - their X-rated adventure pits the jocks against the dorks in a competition to see who builds the better homecoming float. But with everyone busy sucking and fucking, when will they find time to paint banners and hang streamers?

The boys of Phi Alpha are tired of being the underdogs and decide that, for once, they’re going to win the competition. After all, with “17 art majors and 42 drama queens” how can they lose? Porn diva Chi Chi LaRue makes a cameo as the chapter’s housemother, offering encouragement and a batch of freshly-made brownies. (I know it’s Chi Chi, but they really are just brownies.) After a little pep talk the gang splits, leaving frat brothers Sean Storm and Marcus Allen (who looks a little burned-out) to their own devices. After a little flirtatious banter, the two jump full steam ahead into mutual sucking, rimming and fingering (this is a pattern throughout the film), followed by Storm getting a good ass pounding from Marcus. Not wanting to damage the beautiful faux-fur sofa, Marcus finishes by unleashing his baby batter all over Storm’s beatific face.

In the next scene, Studio 2000 exclusive Ace Hanson is looking for some action in a library bathroom stall. He sets up a date with Braeden Casey (ugh, don’t you just hate it when people use their cell-phones at inappropriate times?) and waits in the stall with his trousers down. A collegiate looking Casey arrives and immediately gets to work on Hanson’s curved eight-incher and high-hanging balls. Without so much as a courtesy flush, Hansen is prepping Casey’s rump for his curved cock and leaning him over the urinal. The smile on Casey’s face is a real turn-on, especially right before he starts licking the toilet (if you go in for that kind of kink).

Meanwhile in the stacks, twinks Cade Devlin and Ryan Alexander play show-me-yours-and-I’ll-show-you-mine as Rob Romoni butts in to tell them the library is closing. (Damn those budget cuts!) Faster than you can say “Dewey Decimal,” Romoni’s down on his knees deep-throating Devlin’s fleshy bookmark with reckless abandon. (So much for stuffy librarians.) Things evolve into a super-hot threesome, with everyone looking like they’re really enjoying themselves. Devlin’s gusto and Alexander’s vocal encouragements really keep the action in the red zone. The scorching scene ends in a three-man gravy train with Alexander in the caboose and Devlin spooging all over the reference desk.

The hottest match-up in the entire movie has to be when tattooed Aussie Joe Foster gets it on with uber-butch Hanson underneath the jock’s float - during the competition! It’s not so much what they do (just more suck-rim-fuck action) but how they do it. When Foster straddles Hanson’s love wand and rides it like a pogo stick, there won’t be a dry seat in the house. Hanson’s dirty talk alone is enough to drive anyone over the edge (and Foster’s Down Under accent doesn’t hurt either). By the time they’ve both popped their cork, the float has driven off, leaving them in the dust - and completely naked.

After that wild ride, the next and final scene seems like a bit of a cum-down. Adonis Filippo Romano has come to concede victory to the Phi Alphas. What he encounters is Trent Austin wearing a gown that Big Gay Al would say is too queer - all rainbow wings and cleavage-baring. After congratulating Austin on a job well done, Romano decides to get his own consolation prize: the fairy-looking fellow’s perky ass. At one point, they settle into a vertical 69 position, which is kind of cool to look at, but doesn’t seem like it would give much pleasure to either guy. Then Austin, who might as well have the word ‘bottom’ tattooed on his forehead, rides Romano’s kielbasa like he was born to it. It ends with Romano licking his own jizz off the first prize trophy and admitting he threw the contest to get into Austin’s pants. A trophy’s a trophy, right?

Director Doug Jeffries hasn’t broken much new ground here. All the scenes follow the same basic formula: a little tag team sucking and rimming, followed by jackhammer fucking until both guys explode. He is wise enough, though, to throw in at least a few original elements - like having Devlin use Romoni’s tie like a butt plug - to keep things interesting.

The models are uniformly beautiful and obviously enthusiastic about their jobs. Best of all, most of them look like they’re really getting off on the hot sex, which counts for a whole lot!
-Jimmy Rocket