Review

Plain Wrapped offers another double bill of extreme assplay, this time with what promises to be a Show and Tell. But come on already, it’s not that Frou is sitting here with her eyes rolling to the heavens, eyebrows raised likewise and lips constantly mouthing, “yeah, right” but they don’t really need all these gimmicks to detract from the filth.

This two-parter (I wish they’d do what everyone else does and just combine the two into one long fistathon) isn’t directed by the usual pervoid Scarborough whom no doubt - ahem - had his hands busy elsewhere, quite possibly halfway up Mike Vista. Still, Ward and Slater are equally talented so let’s share the magic together.

We dive straight in as Lexington squats in the middle of a (quite funky, actually) four poster bed and lovingly introduces incredibly large toys up his chocolate starfish. The lube drips down from his ass, over his balls to his prick, where it mixes with the dribbling precum, creating a pretty little snail-trail. And this is Show and Tell? I can see the showing, but I’m still waiting for Lexington to tell us anything other than, “oh yeah”.

Maybe the bed is a sonic transducer, some kind of audio-vibratory-physio-molecular transport device, because Lexington disappears and is replaced by Vaccaro and Gear, and these two are putting the bed’s framework to good use - Gear swinging from the bars like a kinky monkey whilst Vaccaro eats out his ass. The camera can’t keep away from Vaccaro’s beautiful equipment and neither can Gear’s sphincter. After a frenching session Gear is having his hole well and truly jackhammered by his hairy buddy. Their energy is boundless and the ass-pumping never seems to stop, Vaccaro doing his “look ma, no hands” style.

OK, we’ve had the Show, here’s the Tell. Gear interrupts the fucking to talk about what turns him on the most. “I love my white ass,” he boasts. And to prove it he spends most of the film waving it around like a presenting mandrill on Spanish Fly. Luckily we cut back to it as it’s being tongue fucked by Vaccaro in a sequence that looks suspiciously like the last scene but shot from different angles. Vaccaro gets a quick interview next, describing his ideal guy: stocky and hairy.

It’s the welcome return of Plain Wrapped’s spécialité de maison: here come the fists! Lexington has returned and our two hairy dirty dawgs take turns introducing their hands in to his insides, turning Lexy on so much he actually wets himself. So that’s why the bed has rubber sheets. The two sweaty musclestuds finish off their session by dropping their love loads all over Lexington’s ruptured cheeks, before licking it off. Great scene, just wish the autocue wasn’t stuck on “oh yeah”. The keyword here guys, is variety.

Price is next to be psychoanalyzed but refuses to give up any info. on his problems, including why he decided to follow Jeff Palmer’s path to the dark side of the Gay Force. Still, we get a great solo, wonderfully edited together in a disco montage, with Price working his poopy with loads of toys, fingers and then his own fist. Now, if I could do that I’d never leave the house.

Finally Kelly and Allen (real life lovers at the time) talk about expanding each other’s limits before we get to see exactly what they mean as we dissolve to their sex scene (love scene?). And it’s not just Allen’s limits that get expanded by his mustachioed lover. Kelly stretches his hairy partner’s hairier hole first with his tongue, then fingers, oversized dildos and finally his fist. Your pulse will be racing quicker than the disco beat soundtrack as the two lovebirds prove they are dynamite together.

A well-produced petite fuck-flick that every hardcore pig-sex-fan will want in their collection. I can’t wait to see Part Two. And neither will you. And thanks for your philosophies guys - I can sleep soundly in bed tonight, safe with the knowledge you imparted in your pearls of wisdom.
-Froufrou A. Gogo