Review

They say a workman is only as good as his tools, so if you’re looking for a new set of toys to liven things up in the bedroom, look no further than Hardware. I got the Hardware Analogous Valve with Vibration and the Hardware Silicone C-Clamp together for a double review- and was told to compare and experiment with the two toys.

The Hardware Analogous Valve arrived in the same sturdy packaging as the rest of the Hardware line. Similar to the C-Clamp, this toy is meant for prostate play, the addition here is the one speed vibrating insert.

When I decided to give the Analogous Valve a spin, I grabbed my copy of Greased, a little bit of Str8cam Lube and got ready for some fun. At first I tried the toy without using the vibrating bullet; this probe is nicely sized, with 4 insertable inches and a decent girth. 4 inches may not sound like a lot, but the protruding rings on the shaft make for an interesting time. I only wish they weren’t placed so close together.

At first, I didn’t quite understand why there was a secondary compression nub, but once I turned the vibrations on, it made complete sense. The vibrating bullet was strong enough to get the entire toy vibrating, and the secondary nub was positioned just under my taint. With a few more strokes and a little extra pressure from the Analogous Valve, I was over the edge in a couple of minutes with a very intense orgasm. I'll admit that vibrating toys definitely do it more for me.

Clean up was pretty easy, again- warm water and soap will do. Just be sure to clean out all the nooks and crannies and the vibrating bullet comes out of the toy, so don’t forget to clean that too.

Verdict: A solid three stars- the only things that I would change would be the vibrating bullet (multi-speed) and maybe the protruding rings on the shaft of the toy.

Between the Analogous Valve and the Silicone C-Clamp, I can’t decide if one is better than the other. The latter is a little bit cheaper, and features a little more insertable length, but it depends on what you would rather stick up your ass. Both are reasonably priced, so why not go with both!

 -- Nick Lucas