Review

They say a workman is only as good as his tools, so if you’re looking for a new set of toys to liven things up in the bedroom, look no further than Hardware.

At first, I was hesitant when I got a tub of Hardware Piston Grease to review. Who would want lube that is designed to leave behind black streaks?! After some consideration, I thought; why not just give it a try. So I called up one of my favorite fuck buddies (specifically the one that likes to try out new toys and keeps an open mind). I didn’t tell him right away what we were going to try out, but when I took out the tub of Piston Grease, his eyebrows went way up. Turns out, he’s got a really big fantasy that involves mechanics and construction workers, ding ding.

I should note that this lube is oil and water based, so it’s not condom friendly and also not toy friendly, so we had as much fun as we could with out any penetrative sex.The texture is similar to that of most lubes, and looks a little bit strange in the translucent tub. I took a dollop and smeared it on my pec and a little bit on my arm and let’s just say that my friend couldn’t keep his hands off of me or this lube.

Clean up was a breeze, a warm paper towel got most of it off of our bodies, and warm water and soap got the rest of it. I didn’t get much on my sheets, but I’ll have to do a spot test to see if any stains will come out in the wash.

Verdict: 2 stars from me, 3 stars from my mechanic obsessed friend, so an average of 2.5 from the two of us. If getting dirty isn’t your thing, this lube is definitely not for you. But after trying out a lot of the other lubes on the market, this one actually differentiates itself from the others.

After our play session, I found that the dark smudges kind of reminded me of the residue you get from dry erase board/markers. This lube is made for external use only, and lists iron oxides in the ingredients.

For anyone that wants that instant grease monkey look (and really, who doesn’t?)- Hardware Piston Grease should be at the top of your shopping cart.

 -- Nick Lucas