Review

I figured with a subtitle like Prime Cut, this Guys Gone Wild flick would be a sure thing for thick muscles and even thicker dicks. Boy, was I wrong. It took a full 31 minutes and 12 seconds (the video maxes out under 60 minutes) for my own cock to respond to anything being displayed on the screen and even then, the fun didn’t last long.

We start out by meeting Todd, a 20-year-old Jersey Boy who loves to “drink protein,” though there’s no mention of the word “shake.” His clothes come off rather quickly, revealing a pretty sick body, but he never so much as flashes us a glimpse of his dick. And just when you think he might, the scene is over. Disappointing to say the least.

Next up is Chris, a 22-year-old mechanic from New York. He’s easily the hottest guy featured—check him out on the cover (he’s the one with the colorful, half-sleeve tat on his right arm)—but don’t get excited just yet. While one of our lovely female hosts repeatedly tells him that he has a “big dick,” he, in fact, does not. And topping it off is the fact that he never even manages to get the thing fully erect, though he does squeeze off one of the film’s 3 cum shots. It’s small, quick, and generally disconcerting—both the load and scene as a whole.

The box advertises Nick’s “10 inch tool,” but the only guy who mentions having 10 inches of anything in his pants flashes us about 1.5 inches of flaccid penis—and I’d be willing to bet last year’s salary and the lives of three good friends that it would never measure anything over 7.

Sans a few semi-decent shower scenes, Guys Gone Wild: Prime Cut is nothing short of a tormenting tease. While the guys aren’t wasted (like they were in earlier GGW tittles) and most do appear legitimately straight, the scenes are short, the cocks are pretty much soft, and the girl behind the camera never shuts the fuck up long enough for a gay man to fantasize.

Better luck next time.

 -- J.D. Luvdacock