Review

The very-worthy-indeed Farm boys from High Octane is probably the only porn film in the world containing not one, not two, but three men named Attila! All your agrarian fantasies come to life in this sizzling sex frolic among the cow patties.

The film begins with three presumably straight hotties pulling their pickles as they watch a real live girl sun herself. But boys will be boys, and before you know it, they’re doing things to each other that are thoroughly un-Christian. I still haven’t gotten all their names straight, so I’ll just describe them. They’re each relatively young, with nice bodies and hair ranging from sandy to black. The black haired one is absolutely stunning - chiseled features and a beautiful shaved body. Anyway, the sandy haired lad gets to gobbling both their tools, before they take turns slamming his manpuss. This scene, like most of the scenes in the film, tends to get a bit monotonous and draggy, and the slo-mo effect gets a little tired as well. Nonetheless, it’s a hot scene, and it ends with the men dumping their gooey loads all over their young bitch’s neck and chest.

If you’ve ever harbored secret bovine fantasies, you’ll go batty over the next scene, where a young man milks a cow’s udder with unbridled lasciviousness. His buddy watches and strokes his own udder, until the cow toucher strolls over and does a little oral. Cow boy then bends over and proceeds to get his soil plowed in a variety of positions. Both of the men, like most in the film, have average sized chumpys. Eventually, they both erupt.

The cow remained nonplussed throughout the entire scene.

We then come upon a delightful three-way barnyard romp that features a trio of beautiful men, including one dark-haired stud with a hairy muscular body that’s sheer perfection. After a heated double-suck, one of the fellows gets it up his puckered rosette from both of the others. As things heat up, another gorgeous dark blonde watches from behind the hay and jerks his large slab. This scene also contains some excellent sucking, made all the more appealing by splendid camerawork. Eventually, the hairy gent blows his load in a very dramatic cumshot, glazing the bottom-boy’s cheek. The top man is then brought to a no-hands climax by the bi-lateral oral handiwork of his two friends.

The next scene has one of the most interesting set-ups I’ve ever seen in a gay adult film. A man and a woman are going at it, as a muscular blonde guy with a huge schlong watches and strokes. Then, a pair of men come in, and get so worked up by what they see that they start sucking and groping each other. Meanwhile, the muscular blonde strolls over to the "straight" couple and gets in on the action. But poor Miss Female is soon banished to the back of the barn, as the men turn on each other and start fucking! The two gays also fuck, so the woman just poses in the back and diddles herself.

Another brief "bi" scene follows, where the blonde woman from the first scene sucks two men before one of them drops to his knees and gets in on the gobbling. The lucky suckee ends up dumping his junk all over his male friend’s chest.

The final scene features a tryst between a tattooed fellow and an older Richard Gere-type. Tattoo munches on Gere’s tubesteak, before he’s penetrated every which way but loose by his experienced (and hot-bodied) elder. Once again, the cows stand by idly as Daddy unloads his sticky cargo on the side of his young liege’s face.

A stable-full of gorgeous men, a bit of bisexual ballyhoo and lots of livestock make Farm Boys more than just a romp in the hay.

 -- T.J. Maxxwell