Review

Face Ryders has no story. Instead, the action is continuous with eleven sleazy guys together in one sleazy room filled with sleazy furniture. Most of the time you’re not sure who’s doing what to whom. In fact, Alizzi holds off on the credits until the end of the film. If you recognize the actors, fine; certainly there are some legends in the mix. But the emphasis is on the action between assholes, tongues and cocks.

To prove the point, the video opens on an extreme close-up of a very hairy asshole that winks at the camera. The camera then immediately moves on to someone else, and it’s a while before the owner of that hole is identified as Gino Romano. The opening action befits the title, as guys in groupings eat each other out. Among the standouts, Sam Dixon and Jason Branch (who proves that 40 is not fatal in gay men) sit on rimming chairs bouncing on willing tongues.

Unfortunately, with those chairs you can’t actually see the holes, but Alizzi makes up for that when the camera moves to shaved headed Lex Kyler licking a voluptuous hole that has clearly seen a lot of action. It belongs to mega-hot blond-locked bodybuilder Trey Rexx.

After a while tongues come out of the holes and cocks go into mouths. Mean daddy Branch feeds his meat to eager boy Park Wiley (Alizzi also pairs them in Sex Pigs), but it’s Kyler who steals the show by deep-throating Rexx. You actually hear him gag. From there the camera pans to a sling: Andy Hunter is pummeling Trent Atkins with a very long tool. He periodically tries in-and-out pile-driving, but frankly his aim isn’t that good. Eventually he decides to keep it in where it belongs for a lengthy and satisfying fuck with plenty of gusto - and lube.

Once Hunter and Atkins have opened the fucking door, there’s no closing it. Romano gets that deliciously hairy hole fingered - one, two, three, four - by biker dude Andy Dill (who needs a much tougher name). It looks like we are about to see some fisting, but this time Dill decides to let his cock, not his fingers, do the walking into Romano. Gil Cortez gets the idea, and throws bodacious brunette bottom Sean Storm into a sling for a penetrating lesson in on-camera mansex.

Meanwhile Branch decides to bend over and spread his cheeks, giving Wiley and the camera a clear view of an asshole that has dried more Kleenex than just about anybody. He turns around and lets Wiley suck him off, as Kyler likewise does to Rexx, until all four shoot their loads. For the finale, the camera swings back to Hunter and Atkins. Cortez joins the fray, and he and Hunter take turns plowing Atkins’ field until all three shoot their seeds.

One of the best things about Face Ryders is the variety of the cast, from twinkies to daddies, and from skinheads to bikers, with asses ranging from baby-bottom smooth to weed-whacker hairy. It’s a terrific mix, though it is odd that one of gay porn’s great tops (Branch) and most impressive bottoms (Rexx) never do any anal here, and neither Branch, Rexx, Dixon or Hunter ever actually taste ass. And if Hunter has any hopes of winning any sharpshooting contests, he really needs to work on his aim.

And what is that title all about? Why the misspelling of "Riders"? There are no Ryan Idol, Ken Ryker or other "y"-type gay-for-pay aloof gods here. These guys are flagrantly gay men who are down to earth. Hell, they wallow in the mud - and they love every minute of it. But these are minor quibbles for an otherwise great night of hard-core smut.

However you face it, you’ll want to go "ryding"
with these guys any time, pardner!
-Jameson Rodgers